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Thread: Overwhelmed

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    Unhappy Overwhelmed

    I have been having the worst month or two. First being sick. Then the stress of trying to catch up after being sick, even though I am still sick and everyone wants to act like just because I've got it under control I should be feeling so much better. I'm still tired all the time. I've been getting bad headaches, probably partially from all the stress. My stomach has been killing me on and off. I've been really depressed. And no one cares about all those things, they care that my blood work looks better and that my medicine is working. I am too tired once I get home to want to do anything after spending 7 hours at school. I have been trying to get caught up in my work but only have some things done and then bits and pieces of other stuff done. Everyone keeps reminding me Im still failing like I dont already know that; reminding me just stresses me out more and causes a fight. Everyone keeps giving me "suck it up and just get stuff done" like they dont understand at all what I'm still feeling like. My teacher told me today that she is not going to give me anymore time to get this one assignment done because I've had over a month, even though its the only assignment I'm still missing and it was something I couldnt do at home and the computers were running slow at school the last two times I tried to get it done. It wasn't like I wasn't trying. And she kept saying that the 504 plan they made for me didn't apply to any of my old work from when I was absent, even though it does so I left her class and went to go talk to my counselor and she said well if she's given you all that time already what do you want me to do? I would like someone to say that wow you've actually been getting alot of your work done for missing almost a month of school and still feeling like complete shit. But instead I'm being told by my mother and family how lazy I am and how I do nothing and being told by my school that I'm still behind and not being given more time to make things up. I'm failing english and math and have a C in spanish, which is the class I have been working the hardest with because she has been the one being up my butt to get things in. So if I dont get my english work in soon I will fail that and then what, not graduate in less than a month? I have to have certain grades in my classes to get the diploma that Im getting that I have been taking classes the past 4 years to get. If I dont get it I wont even go to my graduation. I have not worked hard and been trying, even if its not as much as everyone expects, to get things done. I dont know what to do everyone seems to be sick of helping me. I don't know why I even bother coming to school anymore because it all just seems like a waste. I end up getting frustrated and crying like I am right now because I have nowhere left to turn with everything. I really dont know what to do...
    "A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends."~ Kin Hubbard

    Diagnosed: SLE, Raynauds, InterstitialLung Disease, GERD, Myositis, Vasculitis, Possible Sjogrens.
    Medications: 400mg Plaquenil, 2000mg Cellcept, 10mg Norvasc, Nitroglycerin Patch, 20mg Prilosec, 10mg Flexeril, 4mg Medrol, 81mg Asprin.

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    Ritz,

    Did you ever get wit the counselor? We have a young man here that is ill and the requirements for him are not the same because of his illness. I know it has been suggested before but I was wondering if you ever got with her.
    Mari

    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    ~Winston Churchill~







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    I did. And I went to her today. And she basically said what do you want me to do about it. I hate everything.
    "A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends."~ Kin Hubbard

    Diagnosed: SLE, Raynauds, InterstitialLung Disease, GERD, Myositis, Vasculitis, Possible Sjogrens.
    Medications: 400mg Plaquenil, 2000mg Cellcept, 10mg Norvasc, Nitroglycerin Patch, 20mg Prilosec, 10mg Flexeril, 4mg Medrol, 81mg Asprin.

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    Ritzbit,
    I am new to the forum, but my heart really goes out to you. My daughter really struggled to get through high school because she has a lot of health problems - and it didn't take much to make her too sick to go to class. She is graduating this month, but actually finished a semester late - in December. Fortunately for her, most of her teachers and counselors were very supportive, even though some of her teachers ignored her 504 and wouldn't let her make stuff up. The big thing that made high school work for her was going part time, and taking a few online classes (which she hated).

    I don't know your full situation, so I am blindly going to throw some ideas out there for you to chew on: 1) Talk to your doctor(s) and see if they are willing to write a letter to the school or work with the school nurse to help you. 2) Legally the school must follow the accommodations on your 504 plan. Who was at the meeting where that was written? Talk to them, with the 504 in front of you if you have it. Be ready with specific examples of how it is not being followed. Use teacher's names and have specific assignments that they didn't let you make up. Try to get your mom or dad or another trusted adult to go with you. 3) Give yourself credit for the effort you are putting into school - even if no one else is. You will find a way to get through this, even if you have to take it one minute, one problem, one class period at a time. 4) If the worst happens and you don't get to walk at graduation (my daughter didn't get to graduate with her class) it will stink and you will feel really bad - but you will survive, and graduate and move on to the next phase of your life. In the meantime, keep fighting like crazy to wear that cap and gown. If you do get to walk, it will be a sweet walk indeed. I'm rooting for you, Ritzbit, and so is my daughter! Please let me know how it's going.

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    None of my teachers are giving me anymore time on anything and are taking off points on anything I do get to them from here on out. I get home and want to sleep. And then wake up and still feel tired. And then I go to school and try to get my homework done, and only get it done in pieces. How am I supposed to win like that? I guess I'm just going to fail my senior year and at this point I really dont care because its not like Im going anywhere.
    "A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends."~ Kin Hubbard

    Diagnosed: SLE, Raynauds, InterstitialLung Disease, GERD, Myositis, Vasculitis, Possible Sjogrens.
    Medications: 400mg Plaquenil, 2000mg Cellcept, 10mg Norvasc, Nitroglycerin Patch, 20mg Prilosec, 10mg Flexeril, 4mg Medrol, 81mg Asprin.

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    I don't understand teachers who make it hard for kids to succeed. You would think they would WANT you to graduate, not punish you. If you focus on getting everything in on time from this point forward, would your grades be high enough to pass (even with the missing assignments)? If you want to see what your legal rights are, check out this link: www.wrightslaw.com Do a search for "504 plans and illness".

    Don't give up on yourself! If you can't graduate this semester, don't beat yourself up - but don't throw in the towel, either.

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    rob is offline Super Moderator Super ModeratorEmperor of the World
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    Hi Ritz,

    I'm sorry you are having such a tough time. I know what it's like to be in your shoes, and I know what it's like to be overwhelmed. I did a little reading about 504 plans, and I found this information about how to report and deal with a violation of a 504 plan-

    http://specialchildren.about.com/od/...4violation.htm

    People can sometimes fixate on what a person has not yet accomplished, rather than what they have. Surely after nearly 4 years of High School your teachers can be flexible enough to give you a little more time to complete all of your assignments and earn your diploma. A teachers goal, I would hope, would be like that of a Drill Sgt. when you join the military. The Drill Sgt's job is to push you to your limits, and be pretty hard on you, but their job isn't to flunk you. Their job is to qualify and then graduate as many new soldiers as they can. They do whatever it takes to help you succeed. And likewise, a teacher's job is to help ALL students, disabled or not, to ultimately in the end earn their diploma. Lupus is so unpredictable that I would think that a 504 plan would allow for that. These teachers should know this, and they should help you.

    Gizmo had a great suggestion about taking a trusted adult with you to act as an advocate, or a go between for you. Is there anyone who could do this for you?

    Rob
    Last edited by rob; 05-06-2011 at 04:55 AM.

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    Even my mom just feels like Im not doing anything. I dont have anything left for help. My 504 plan says teachers "may give more than 2 weeks to make up my work" and since its been a month everyone is getting all mad saying I havent done like anything when I have, but I just have parts of stuff done so I havent turned them in. So my mom said I should just give them what I have so they'll see I have been doing stuff, "if I really have". I feel like everyone is doubting that Im doing stuff but for awhile I was having a hard time keeping up with regular work once I came back and the make up work. Thats why the work from a month ago still isnt done because I thought I'd be getting a lot of time for that and thought they would be taking off for late work from since I've been back. I dont know if I made sense trying to explain that....lol but I kind of just want to give up. I dont want to keep fighting for stuff when I only have until the 26th this month and then Im done. Why bother?
    "A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends."~ Kin Hubbard

    Diagnosed: SLE, Raynauds, InterstitialLung Disease, GERD, Myositis, Vasculitis, Possible Sjogrens.
    Medications: 400mg Plaquenil, 2000mg Cellcept, 10mg Norvasc, Nitroglycerin Patch, 20mg Prilosec, 10mg Flexeril, 4mg Medrol, 81mg Asprin.

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    you bother, because you want to graduate.

    you bother, because you have self pride.

    you bother, so you can go to uni.

    you bother because you are you.

    i am sorry you are doing it tough, it may seem unfair, .... unjust.
    but you can only do what you can do.

    do your best, and keep your counsellor informed.
    show your counsellor what you have part completed.
    show her that you are trying, and ask her to help you explain that to your teachers.

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    Quote Originally Posted by steve.bryce View Post
    you bother, because you want to graduate.

    you bother, because you have self pride.

    you bother, so you can go to uni.

    you bother because you are you.

    i am sorry you are doing it tough, it may seem unfair, .... unjust.
    but you can only do what you can do.

    do your best, and keep your counsellor informed.
    show your counsellor what you have part completed.
    show her that you are trying, and ask her to help you explain that to your teachers.
    You bother because it is your right to be treated fairly under the law and to be given a proper education with the mandates in place by your state in regards to accomodations and extensions due to the nature of the circumstances involving your personal disability (I use that term loosely) referring specifically to your health and because once you are at college this record of assistance will help you to advocate for further assistance at the private institute level which is not held to the same state mandated standards as the public schools are and so that others who follow behind you in your footsteps are able to walk the path with ease and grace and are not led to jump off a cliff like a lamb to slaughter the way you are finding yourself led right now.
    As long as this body works, I am going to enjoy life to the fullest for each second of every moment that I can.



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