Welcome to WHL. Your sweetie is a lovely lady and you are a wonderful husband for being so concerned and involved.
I have several overlapping AI diseases. I'm 53 and my hubby is 54. My illness has changed our lives, but it has given us some new opportunities, too.
I had to leave a teaching job that I loved, but the AF offered to send Jeff to The Naval Postgraduate School for his PHD. All five of our kids are grown, so we were free to pack up and move from TX to CA. I'm able to be home and resting a lot more now, but I'm still involved in life. I'm the Vice President of The Officers' Spouses" Club this year.
We still love to travel, too. In the last few years, we've been to Hawaii, Japan and Greece. I take care to take my meds with me, use plenty of sunscreen, rest when I need to, and I travel with my cane and wheelchair. (I was lifted to the top of the Acropolis in my wheelchair!) We're planning to go to Australia in a couple of years and eventually we'll get to Italy. I'm probably one of the more adventurous people that you will find here. I hurt a lot, and I move slowly, but I refuse to stop doing the things that I like to do.
It sounds like you and your wife are lots like us, so I'm here to tell you that you will learn to deal with it.
Everyone has given you some good information. Plaquenil is often the first drug that the docs try. It has worked well for me. I also take a weekly injection of Methotrexate. It slows me down for a day, but I'm usually good to go for the rest of the week.
Good luck to both of you, and I hope that we can help you.
BTW - Congrats, Grandpa! We have three grandsons, and they are the best!