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Thread: Feeling a bit frightened - waiting for diagnosis

  1. #201
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    Hello Sam,

    Well for a start off congratulations in your new job and the people work fine and seem ok as you was so worried about being accepted.

    Sorry you've had to use your inhaler more, is the work more exhausting sam?? and sorry about your foot also, your rheumo should test your bloods again really after 4mths. I know i'm in the uk but every 6mths mine are re-done and if not by my rheumo the dermo runs some.

    Your hours seemed to have worked out for you to how you want them, just as long as your ok on a 9hour shift...well i hope you are anyway and just chill out now mate and relax and i hope tomorrow is abit easier on you.

    Hugs Terry xxx

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    good to see you got through the first day.
    it is always a shock to your system, workingafter a short break.
    hope day 2 is easier.

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  5. #203
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    Hello Sam,

    How did your second day go mate and i really hope your health was'nt to bad besides your foot.

    All my love Terry xxx

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    It was OK, its very professional and I have to wear a full suit and even a bit of make up - its very smart, and I look dreadful, puffy eyes, thin face - worn out - it is harder than I imagined commuting nearly 3 hours a day (door to door) and last night went to college from work and didnt get in till 10pm. But college is important to me and I wont graduate unless I complete it.

    My legs keep getting fluid on them, you can poke your finger in it and leave a pit - that is my new hobby, it leaves little dents - great fun it is too.

    Seriously, I know there is something wrong with me, my hair is in dry poor condition, my body is 'wrong', I feel like my body is Libya with a civil war going on.

    I cannot wait to see this specialist, he wont be able to tell me anything but I am sure he will redo the bloods, I just want to know its not all in my head.

    My skin is sore today if that makes sense.

    Anyway, I am a bit down, the job is OK, the people seem nice but they are quiet and sensible and I am not, but its a well run company and organised and it pays the mortgage.

    But between you and me, I dream of making documentaries and writing for a living - and trust me, when I have a pounding headache that I get a lot of, and my bones are sore, my skin is sore and I look sick - going to college is the one thing that keeps me going, I am determined everyone will see my documentary on the TV one day.

    (she says hopefully)


    Quote Originally Posted by Peridot20_Gem View Post
    Hello Sam,

    How did your second day go mate and i really hope your health was'nt to bad besides your foot.

    All my love Terry xxx

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  8. #205
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    Hello Sam,

    Lovely to hear off you...i knew you'd only come on when you'd got time and was feeling abit better to respond.

    You may have puffy eyes and not being well does'nt help but you went to alot of trouble to look smart in your appearence and that goes a long way i'm so happy for you and also the achievement of standards you've gone to for the job.

    How long do you have to go before you've completed your college cause??

    You make me laugh finding enjoyment a pressing your poor legs, can't the doctor give you some fluid tablet to help and it's a shame your hair is like that and you tried things to keep it right...i just hope the rheumo is able to come out with something positive as you've been messed about that much and just need some answers.

    Sam your sensisble but you just might be a person who would love a laugh while working and for some reason you dow see it much today.

    Well i actually do hope your able to do a Documentary some day, at least you'll feel you've acheived something even more...keep going strong mate and all my love goes out to you same.

    Love & hugs Terry xxxxxxxxx

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  10. #206
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    Havent been on in a while, my job has been stealing every bit of me and whilst it pays the bills, the travelling is hard as I have to be up at 5.30am and 5am on a college day.

    I yearn for something creative, I feel like a square peg in a round hole and I dont know if any of you have dreamt of doing one thing with your life but you have ended up doing what you have to - its like a pebble in your shoe that never goes away.

    Anyway, the countdown has started - I see the rhuemy in 20 days time!!!! I have a photo of my rash, my over reaction to insect bites with a huge leg, the blood blisters on my thighs - it will be like a cinema by the time I show this doctor!

    However, I am nervous about him not believing me or taking notice of me, after the last experience with that other guy.

    It will be nice to have answers.

    Anyway, in a barbaric kind of way, I am liking the winter as I am not so exhausted but then I have only been off the steroids less than a month so perhaps it could be that. I have my gas heater on full as my fingers have gone numb.

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  12. #207
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    Hello Sam,

    Lovely to see you on mate, i bet the works making you tied out and christ that's early of a morning...mind you my neighbour does those hours and finishes at 3-4pm in the afternoon.

    Good on you sam producing photo's and it won't hurt, craftkeeper takes her album when she goes also she does make me laugh but it's better for them to see it, i took mine today to ENT to show them what happened and even the nurses wanted a view.lol

    Try not to be nervous with your new Rheumo as the person could be totally different and they can't disregard the proof you have, sometimes it livens them up mate so keep carm and try not to be to concerned.

    Get some gloves on your hands Sam to help your fingers and you takecare mate and thanks for keeping we updated.

    Love & Hugs Terry xxxxx

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  14. #208
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    You know I am scared he is not going to find anything wrong with me and its all in my head and I dont know what would be worse - these awful symptoms in my head or having an AI (does that make sense?)

    Today I have the awful headache that I get where the pain is in one eye and my glands are up as well and as for the brain fog - I keep forgetting where I put things.

    Not that I am counting, but not long till 27th, although I dont think much will happen apart from more blood tests - which I am praying he does as the last lot were done in March.

    My eyes alternate between being bone dry, to burning and a bit watery, can you have dry eyes and then they burn/water a bit? Doesnt make sense, just ignore me - my head has fallen off I reckon.

    At least on the steroids my brain fog wasnt nearly so bad - dont know why that was but things were better. Anyway, I am going to make a cup of tea, that always sorts everything out - who would like one?

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  16. #209
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    Hello Sam,

    Your feeling affects and pain and we do understand what your going through and if nothing is found concerning being linked to Lupus, then i suggest afterwards either pushing it more or seeing your Doctor to find out the underlining cause..yes there is some people out there who think things are wrong when they're not but that's a mental illness but as long as your genuine and no the facts of what's happening to your body just don't give up.

    That brain fogg is an absolute nightmare at times which does'nt help, i've noticed i'm going through bad stages as when my hubby chats to me i dow think i could answer him back a full sentence as half on it's gone within seconds.

    Actually same when you see the rheumo and he/she is a concerning consultant they should be able to judge from your last bloods and have a rough idea of what's going on and besides that every new doctor should chat with their patients for at least some history.


    Well try not to worry to much mate please and take it steady and besides that i hope works going to how you want it.

    ((Hugs your way)) Terry xxx

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  18. #210
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    Thanks Terry, sorry for moaning.

    I would like to announce that despite alcohol making me feel nauseous of late, I am at this present moment in time, drinking a glass of red wine, I shall have two glasses and deal with the nausea later, but for now it is a mighty fine muscle relaxant, although why alcohol has started to make me feel sick and dizzy I do not know but it sure works on pain. I am a cheap date though, two glasses and I am anyones.

    Work was awful, this head dragon in the office who has made several people cry, well the office manager told me today that 'everyone is scared of her' and I replied 'I give people respect but cross the line with me and we have a problem and at 43, I am too old to be scared of anybody' - well she and my other colleague looked horrified that I wouldnt be scared of head dragon, so no doubt that will be noted when my trial is up.

    Scared of the possibility of having lupus - yes, scared of losing my marbles and freedom - yes, but scared of a tubby short mobile cat scratch post (she scratches her own face when stressed and reminds me of a cat scratch post), no way.

    Who would like a glass of wine? My treat.



    Quote Originally Posted by Peridot20_Gem View Post
    Hello Sam,

    Your feeling affects and pain and we do understand what your going through and if nothing is found concerning being linked to Lupus, then i suggest afterwards either pushing it more or seeing your Doctor to find out the underlining cause..yes there is some people out there who think things are wrong when they're not but that's a mental illness but as long as your genuine and no the facts of what's happening to your body just don't give up.

    That brain fogg is an absolute nightmare at times which does'nt help, i've noticed i'm going through bad stages as when my hubby chats to me i dow think i could answer him back a full sentence as half on it's gone within seconds.

    Actually same when you see the rheumo and he/she is a concerning consultant they should be able to judge from your last bloods and have a rough idea of what's going on and besides that every new doctor should chat with their patients for at least some history.


    Well try not to worry to much mate please and take it steady and besides that i hope works going to how you want it.

    ((Hugs your way)) Terry xxx

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