Page 9 of 25 FirstFirst ... 789101119 ... LastLast
Results 81 to 90 of 244

Thread: I am lost.

  1. #81
    tgal's Avatar
    tgal is offline Super Moderator Super ModeratorEmperor of the Solar System
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Houston, Texas
    Posts
    4,526
    Thanks
    1,548
    Thanked 1,743 Times in 1,212 Posts

    Default

    I wish I had words to say that could make you feel better. I wish I had the words that could tell you when things will get better. I have nothing to give that will help you get beyond this. It gets easier as time goes on but every new "first" makes the pain even worse. All I can give you is an offer to listen if you ever need that. I hope that you will have more happiness then pain from this day on
    Mari

    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    ~Winston Churchill~







  2. The Following User Says Thank You to tgal For This Useful Post:

    Oluwa (08-26-2011)

  3. #82
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Seattle, Washington, USA
    Posts
    3,002
    Thanks
    256
    Thanked 148 Times in 79 Posts

    Default

    lovebyHim...Thank you for you for your prayers. I smiled, I brimmed with tears, you would pick me up if I was near. I have had some very lonesome days lately. It comes in waves, sometimes tidal waves. It is had to make friends, I think they would have to be people like me, because I think gosh, they would think I have so much sad baggage. Would I say I am not married, pretend Bola is still alive...I think the word 'grieving' would shy anything from developing with new friends. I try to tell myself when you get to point B you can, you will be better but there is no point B in grieving..there is no pill, no band-aid... I am lost...I am trying to use every coping skill I know of...I march on.

    Both my animals are 16...I am grateful my dog has been with me this long, usually they live to be 14. With the phenobarbital she is fairing quite well now. She is totally blind in one eye and can only see to the floor below her with the other. Sometimes I am right in front of her and she looks for me. I flail my hands about, moving... the shadow I suspect she only sees. She is almost deaf too...but to look at her, she is mistaken for a puppy. Pookie has lost much weight....surviving on kibble broth I make and canned albacore liquid. Riley gets the meat, Pookie gets the broth. I've tried everything from boiling fresh chicken, poached fish, rice, eggs...many varieties of cat food...some times a bite, but then nothing. It is difficult feeling helpless.

    Thank you for writing to me...hugs.
    I have Lupus. So *^#@! what.

  4. #83
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Seattle, Washington, USA
    Posts
    3,002
    Thanks
    256
    Thanked 148 Times in 79 Posts

    Default

    Just noticing my pain is help...so you have made me feel better, tgal. Thank you for taking the time to write me, sending me hope...Hugs.
    I have Lupus. So *^#@! what.

  5. #84
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Seaside, Ca.
    Posts
    3,871
    Thanks
    196
    Thanked 948 Times in 732 Posts

    Default

    Oluwa,
    I'm glad to see you back here with us again, and I am so sorry that I can't do or say anything to take away your pain.
    I have a love like yours - a man with whom I am physically and spiritually bonded - and I can't imagine beginning a new life without him.
    I know that Bola will always be with you in your heart, but I'm sure that he would want you to carry on in his memory.
    I wish that you lived further down the coast, sweetie. I would be honored to spend time with you. If you get down to CA in the next year, come see us.

    I also understand how you feel about your sweet pets. Our furry babies remain in our hearts forever, too.
    Take care of yourself, and always know that we are glad to hear from you here at WHL.
    Lots of Love and Gentle Hugs,
    Marla

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to magistramarla For This Useful Post:

    Oluwa (08-26-2011)

  7. #85
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    California
    Posts
    1,213
    Thanks
    280
    Thanked 208 Times in 162 Posts

    Default

    Dearest Oluwa-

    My heart hurts for you. I wish there was something I could do.

    Keep writing.

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to BonusMom For This Useful Post:

    Oluwa (08-26-2011)

  9. #86
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Dallas, Tx
    Posts
    1,862
    Thanks
    145
    Thanked 413 Times in 339 Posts

    Default

    Dear Oluwa,

    The only thing, I can offer you is a big hug, because I can't find any words to comfort you.

    Debbie
    I may have been dealt a bad hand, but at least I'm still playing with a full deck. ( most of the time anyway).

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to debbie-b For This Useful Post:

    Oluwa (08-26-2011)

  11. #87
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Seattle, Washington, USA
    Posts
    3,002
    Thanks
    256
    Thanked 148 Times in 79 Posts

    Default

    I brought Pookie to the vet this morning...diagnose. Cancer of the mouth. She has a tumor under her tongue. She can sustain on highly nutritious liquids, but eventually it may grow so huge, nothing will go down. I selfishly think, feel..I am not ready to have her leave me forever... in an instant. I dislike the term, put down, put to sleep....euthanize. She is home with me, sedated....he said she would wake in about 4 hours. I could not leave her there in the event she would not wake. It would be too surreal...almost like when Bola left and never came home. I am so distraught...Xanax keeps me calm mentally, while my heart thinks, imagines life without her too. I just don't understand death. If it is apart of life, then why is it so hard. I wish I was a person, without feelings..I wish I was a person who was able to survive emotionally on thinking what we did, do have instead of what will happen or what is left....sigh.

    I am grateful for all the time we spend with those we love. I am grateful for the smiles the memories brings but this year it is not enough comfort...if so, it is for a mere second in time and I selfishly remember what I lost and how I yearn for more...once again my vat is empty. I race and wander inside me, inside my heart, inside my mind looking for answers....
    I have Lupus. So *^#@! what.

  12. #88
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Philadelphia, PA
    Posts
    322
    Thanks
    123
    Thanked 86 Times in 59 Posts

    Default

    Oluwa I am sooo sorry for your loss. I don't think we met, and if we have I'm sorry but I don't remember : ( but I do remember reading about your husbands passing. I can't even begin to imagine what you are feeling. I wish I had words to comfort you although I know that theres no such thing. Time will eventually start healing what you are feeling although I know that at this time that seems impossible. Sending gentle hugs your way : (

  13. The Following User Says Thank You to chikititalinda For This Useful Post:

    Oluwa (08-26-2011)

  14. #89
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Seattle, Washington, USA
    Posts
    3,002
    Thanks
    256
    Thanked 148 Times in 79 Posts

    Default

    Pookie.jpg My Pookie Monster.
    I have Lupus. So *^#@! what.

  15. #90
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Seattle, Washington, USA
    Posts
    3,002
    Thanks
    256
    Thanked 148 Times in 79 Posts

    Default

    10330_1155191801500_1278844580_2374170_102459_n.jpgclick on snap and see larger....Pookie Monster
    I have Lupus. So *^#@! what.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •