Filthy house? If you can't get the hubby and the boys to chip in and help (I'm suggesting WHAT?! :shock: :shock Consider one of two things...ignoring it or hiring someone to do the really hard parts. If people come over, realize they've come to see YOU, not the house. Just get used to a level of mess, it is OK, there are no "messy police" out there. Or, hire someone. I hired someone to clean the bathroom and kitchen - just that - twice a month. (Of course, I don't have boys to consider in the equation). That made all the difference. It didn't cost that much either - I went with a private person, not one of those "Merry Maid" things.
Go for it with the hats! They can be a joy once you start getting used to them. I feel naked without mine now.
Send your Mum some of the research on lupus.org - and tell her to stop listening to her friend.
And hugs - I've enjoyed your posts and am so glad you're on board with us!