Never give up on Hope. Yes, you've had a hard time. Try some healthy eating and exercise to the best of your ability. I for one feel better when I've been exercising and moving. You're only 19; I'm close to 63 now. I was shy so I never had many friends. Try to keep close to the ones who understand you; it helps to strength you.
Find things that you can laugh about - that makes you feel better too. Seriousness drags us down.
Listen or don't listen; make your own choices! That's really important; don't let the downers get you. That leads to bad things.
Big cyber HUGS for you, youngling,