I needed somewhere to express my feelings and not be judged. I found out in June 2008 that I have lupus. My life has turned upside down since then like everyone here can relate to. It seems like every few months something else happens.

I am feeling very blue this weekend because I live in Minnesota and it has gotten cold and snowy outside and I have Raynauds so my fingers and toes have been freezing and we are only just starting the winter season. Then in the summer I can not be in the sun. I am just very frustrated. I feel like all I can do is live indoors. I am suppose to go shopping with my sister-in-law next weekend and it is at a outside strip mall and I am nervous about going because if it is cold out my toes and fingers will freeze and nobody understands.

I try to put on a good front for everyone but I am dying inside. I know there are many people out that are way worse off than me. But I was active and involved in so many things before I found out I had lupus and now I just feel like I am not needed anymore. I hate making plans because I will never know how I will feel.

I am sorry that I have went on and on. But I thought it make help to write it down and let it out.

Thanks for taking the time to read this, I really appreciate it!

Thanks, Deb