Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 20

Thread: dying faster than I should....

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    51
    Blog Entries
    1
    Thanks
    14
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default dying faster than I should....

    that is what the DR told me at my last visit. I have damaged lungs, blood coming from my kidneys, my ADLs are very bad and my meds are not working. I have NO INSURANCE!!!

    the question is.....do I tell my son what the Dr. said or do I wait till he graduates? I feel like if I tell him, it would be putting too much added pressure on him at this time. He is a senior and trying very hard to do his best to get into the college that he wants. this will surely take his mind off his schooling and put it on me. I want him to be happy and not to worry about me. I told my husband, and we are dealing with it but he wants me to tell my son also. I am not afraid of death, just afraid of the pain that comes first. I am also afraid of what will happen to my husband and my son after I go. is there anyway that I can make it seem not so bad to them? my husband wants me to make a list of things to do after I pass. I have been putting it off, but I think I will do it today.

    please to all that read this....yell, scream, and vent if you want. I have--and I am done. please also add your thoughts.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    California
    Posts
    1,213
    Thanks
    280
    Thanked 208 Times in 162 Posts

    Default

    As it doesn't sound like death is in the very imminent future (assuming your son doesn't graduate until May/June), I wouldn't tell him anything until after he graduates.

    Let him enjoy his senior year without this burden. He has a lot on his shoulders right now in applying for college and then choosing the college that extends an offer.

    Unless something changes drastically, I would wait until after grad night. And, if a change in your condition necessitates telling him, don't burden him with how long you've known as it will only make him feel guilty and there's nothing your dear child could have done to change things.

    I certainly hope that your situation isn't as dire as predicted and that something can be done to improve your health.

    Just my two cents.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to BonusMom For This Useful Post:

    lornak (11-04-2010)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    West Midlands, UK
    Posts
    388
    Thanks
    17
    Thanked 34 Times in 30 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by lornak View Post
    that is what the DR told me at my last visit. I have damaged lungs, blood coming from my kidneys, my ADLs are very bad and my meds are not working. I have NO INSURANCE!!!

    the question is.....do I tell my son what the Dr. said or do I wait till he graduates? I feel like if I tell him, it would be putting too much added pressure on him at this time. He is a senior and trying very hard to do his best to get into the college that he wants. this will surely take his mind off his schooling and put it on me. I want him to be happy and not to worry about me. I told my husband, and we are dealing with it but he wants me to tell my son also. I am not afraid of death, just afraid of the pain that comes first. I am also afraid of what will happen to my husband and my son after I go. is there anyway that I can make it seem not so bad to them? my husband wants me to make a list of things to do after I pass. I have been putting it off, but I think I will do it today.

    please to all that read this....yell, scream, and vent if you want. I have--and I am done. please also add your thoughts.
    Hi Lornark,
    I'm so sorry to hear your bad news but i hope it's not coming at you so quickly as your Doctor says and you've asked about advice with your son, i'd let him graduate first, as he knows you ill but at least he would have got his graduation over and done with to except your news.

    Refering insurance with the history i have trailing with me for the last 24yrs, i've tried up to 4 different company's in the past and that was before i was told i had Raynauds to top the lot last year, just the other illnesses i've stated on the site to the group as soon as they recieve the Doctor's letter it's a large NO.

    So i wish you best of luck with your situation your in plus regarding insurance.

    Hugs Terri xxx

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to Peridot_Gem For This Useful Post:

    lornak (11-04-2010)

  6. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    in a house
    Posts
    302
    Blog Entries
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts

    Default

    WOW! I am at a loss for words. What an awful decision to have to make. I am sure you will make the right decision regarding your son. God bless you!
    A good friend will help you move, a GREAT friend will help you move a body . . . Let me know if I need to bring a shovel!!!

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to froggal For This Useful Post:

    lornak (11-04-2010)

  8. #5
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Seaside, Ca.
    Posts
    3,871
    Thanks
    196
    Thanked 948 Times in 732 Posts

    Default

    Hi Lornak,
    Do you have to accept what this one doc says? Is there any way for you to get another opinion. Are you on any kind of meds to help with your symptoms? It seems that there ought to be something!
    I've raised five kids, so I know that every teen is different. As his mother, only you know what your boy's personality is like. Most HS seniors are pretty stressed and pretty focused on themselves during that year. I agree with the others that it might be best to be supportive of him right now and tell him only what is necessary about you.
    I hope that the doc is all wrong and that you will be looking forward to seeing his college graduation in four years!
    Hugs,
    Marla

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to magistramarla For This Useful Post:

    lornak (11-04-2010)

  10. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    oklahoma
    Posts
    86
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Smile

    Okay that just goes all over me, first of all did the Dr. look all over you and see an expiration date on you??? NO!!! I mean come on..... that just urpts me..... no don't tell your son!!! You could live for another 10-20 years, these Dr's don't know..... I mean unless your on deaths doorsteps and believe me I know cause I work in an oncology clinic.... and I've seen patient's who won't live much longer....Hang in there girl and don't listen to what those dang Dr's tell you... some of them don't have the sense God gave them... If you need to see if you can see another Dr like a teaching hospital who accepts no insurance... Sending you Big hugs and hoping you have a better day and week.....

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to morning star For This Useful Post:

    lornak (11-04-2010)

  12. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    TN/North MS
    Posts
    152
    Blog Entries
    4
    Thanks
    14
    Thanked 11 Times in 10 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by magistramarla View Post
    Hi Lornak,
    Do you have to accept what this one doc says? Is there any way for you to get another opinion. Are you on any kind of meds to help with your symptoms? It seems that there ought to be something!
    I've raised five kids, so I know that every teen is different. As his mother, only you know what your boy's personality is like. Most HS seniors are pretty stressed and pretty focused on themselves during that year. I agree with the others that it might be best to be supportive of him right now and tell him only what is necessary about you.
    I hope that the doc is all wrong and that you will be looking forward to seeing his college graduation in four years!
    Hugs,
    Marla
    I agree with what Marla says. This one doctor should not hold such a heavy weight when it comes to your life span. There is only one being that knows your life and that is the Lord. (that's my belief.. I understand not everyone shares this belief, but this is my opinion as asked) He is holding you in his loving arms and no doctor can put a time on how long you have left. My friend Chip lived years past what was predicted of him with bone marrow cancer. My grandfather lived with lymphoma three years longer than expected and wasn't suffering when he died. There are so many variables. If you start planning your death, you could lose your life. So don't plan it, girlie. Take it one day at a time and I hope and pray that you have a lot longer on this earth than the doc predicts. ((((((((hugs))))))))))))

  13. The Following User Says Thank You to Islablue For This Useful Post:

    lornak (11-04-2010)

  14. #8
    rob is offline Super Moderator Super ModeratorEmperor of the World
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    3,681
    Thanks
    426
    Thanked 1,103 Times in 628 Posts

    Default

    Hi Lornak,

    I am so sorry to hear of your current situation. One thing I need to say to you, and to all the other people who have read this thread, is that I apologize for the Spam post that appeared in this thread earlier today. As moderators we are vigilant, however sometimes the worst things can temporarily appear in the most serious of threads. I am sorry for not catching this sooner.

    As far as what to do, well, I was once in the same place your son is right now, and despite everything that was going on, if my Mom was really sick, I would want to know. I would find a way to deal with graduation and moving on to higher education, and still be there for my Mom. I don't know any other way to say it. I don't know your son, but as a guy, I'll just say that we deal with things better when given the facts. "The real deal", as some would say. And as a son, our love for our Mom's will always allow us to find a way to do the things we know are right for our families, as well as for ourselves.

    I hope the doctors are wrong, and I hope things get better for you, and your family.

    Rob

  15. The Following User Says Thank You to rob For This Useful Post:

    lornak (11-04-2010)

  16. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    foothills of carolina
    Posts
    154
    Thanks
    44
    Thanked 9 Times in 9 Posts

    Default

    Bless your heart, I know that has to be a great burden hearing what the doctor said. Like the others here I agree that the doctors do not know everything, Only the Lord knows. If you want to get things ready there is nothing wrong with that. I wrote letters to my loved ones, planned things out and prayed up so that If something were to happen It would all be fine and if I continue to live then nothing is lost. We(all humans) never know if we'll have a tomorrow, or a next week, or next year. I try to look at each day as a gift. I don't know your son so I won't tell you what to do about telling him. I do advise you to take a few days and get things worked out with yourself and then decide. But my advice to you is to LIVE, make the best of what days you do have. Tomorrow may be the end but then again it may be in 30 years.... no one knows. A body is a marvelous creation that can withstand all types of assaults and continue to keep going. Don't live to die... Just LIVE! Billie

  17. The Following User Says Thank You to Hillbillie For This Useful Post:

    lornak (11-04-2010)

  18. #10
    rob is offline Super Moderator Super ModeratorEmperor of the World
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    3,681
    Thanks
    426
    Thanked 1,103 Times in 628 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Hillbillie View Post
    Tomorrow may be the end but then again it may be in 30 years.... no one knows. A body is a marvelous creation that can withstand all types of assaults and continue to keep going. Don't live to die... Just LIVE! Billie
    You are absolutely right Billie.

    Lornak,

    Doctors, are frequently wrong, we all know that. And, there is no test that can determine a person's will to survive. I have seen some people who were basically told that the end is upon them, push through and survive for a long, long time. One of my friends was told that she would most likely die from the effects of MS within one year of the official diagnosis. That was 22 years ago! She's still alive, and is in fact, the chairperson of our local MS support group. Doctors are intelligent, educated people, but that does not mean that they are always right. Don't take what they say. Just keep on living your life.

    Rob

  19. The Following User Says Thank You to rob For This Useful Post:

    lornak (11-04-2010)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •