Hi everyone!

Me again, the one who wasn't going to participate on this board... LOL!!

My doctor is going to put me on Cytoxan. I have done a lot of research on Cytoxan and the side effects and chemotherapy and all that good stuff... My real question is... (My real questions are)

How common is it to use chemotherapy to treat lupus? Does this typically mean that the lupus is really agressive? Or is it usually just a way to beat it into remission? They are also progressively raising my CellCept to 3g/day... Where I used to only be on 1g/day.

How many people here, are or have been on Cytoxan or Chemo to treat their lupus?

Could this be worse than what I thought it was? Does anyone know the odds that this will help? Because I know that in cancer sometimes the odds that chemo actually works is only like 50/50...

Also, does anyone know if ther is any difference in side effects or duration, or anything between taking Cytoxan in pill form as opposed to IV form?

Also, I wonder what could happen if I opt NOT to do the chemotherapy... Could it potentially kill me, or will it just slow my getting to remission? And the reason I ask is because of the potential that I might have to quit my band if I go on chemo. Everything is so unpredictable already and I feel like crap almost all the time right now. I can't imagine chemotherapy will make me feel any better. And if I have to quit my band... which is basically my reason for being, I'm afraid that I might lose my drive altogether.

I am really really really scared. I can't stop crying, and I haven't even started the treatment yet!!! I have a call in to my doctor to ask her all these and more questions... But, if anyone has any insight, personal experience, whatever, I'd really appreciate it...

Any help would be greatly appreciated.