Good for you, Jeremy!
Now you're on the right track. Keep doing what you're doing, and come back here when you have questions. We'll be glad to help if we can.
It definitely sounds like you are on the right track at this point. You know, most guys probably would not take the initiative of seeking out a website and do what you are doing to learn about Lupus. You are one step ahead of most people at this point, and I think your efforts to learn will show, and your girlfriend will know that you care.
About bringing up some painful memories in me, please don't worry about that. Those memories are really not that painful to me anymore, and I don't mind talking about it.
Like Marla said, we are here if you want to talk more, and need support. We'll help you any way we can.
Last edited by rob; 03-14-2010 at 04:35 PM.
Just felt compelled to chime in. I'm a 35 yr. old Mom of 2 boys. They are 14 and 8. I was finally diagnosed with SLE on March 3rd. Right now, my complaints are joint pain and rashes. I do think I've had the disease for several years.
My husband is a DOD contractor. He travels anywhere from 2 weeks to 9 months out of every year. We've been married for 15 years. I take care of our home, do yard work, transport the boys to and from school, bring them to their after school activities and so on....
I plan romantic meals for my husband. We have date night.
I do have a pesky disease that I have to keep in check, but life is good!
I guess my point is, life is certainly not over for your girlfriend. She sounds like a wonderful woman. You obviously care about her.
Please don't let Lupus dictate which road your relationship will take. Give it some time to settle in your minds.
I'm so impressed you searched *us* out. My husband finds reading the boards of *real* people living w/Lupus better than reading just the sterile medical facts. Lupus affects us all differently. Some days are worse then others.
I really can't add much to what Rob and Magistramarla have already said, but, just wanted to toss in a thought.
Even if your girlfriend was in perfect health, as you currently are, anything could happen to either one or both of you down the road. Accidents happen, disease strkes, and even her feelings could change down the road. Nothing in life is guaranteed, not even a description of Lupus symptoms are not guaranteed to occur in every person who has the disease.
All I could suggest is for you to make any decision with that in mind. Remember, the situation could be reversed, and you could be the one in her shoes. Given the newness of the relationship, how would you want Her to respond to You getting a diagnosis of Lupus? That will answer your own question.
I wish you the best of luck in dealing with this. I know some things can be a deal breaker for some relationships. I just hope Lupus isn't one of them.
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