I honestly have no idea what to say here but I need some help. I have always been one of those people that didnít go to doctors unless something was really wrong. I am 41 and for the last 9 months to a year my health has gone downhill but I thought I was just getting older. I was tired all the time and my body ached. My head would hurt and my memory is shot. I know what I want to say but it feels like the word is just out of reach. I feel so stupid because some days I canít finish a simple sentence but I just thought it was because I wasnít 20 anymore.

I had also been having chest/left arm pains for 6 months or more and then I began having difficulty breathing. Right before Thanksgiving I went to the ER thinking I was having a heart attack. My BP was off the charts but everything else was OK. They sent me to a cardio who did ultrasounds, stress tests, the whole 9 yards. Everything was fine. First of Dec. I went to a GP who talked to me and started asking about things I didnít think had anything to do with this. Did I have any strange rashes? Yes! Sometimes they even leave scars (my neck is covered with them). How do I sleep? I can sleep for days and never feel rested. On and on we went. He did some tests and when I went back he said that it appeared my immune system was ďconfusedĒ and sent me to a rhumy (yes, I like that term yaíll use because I donít have to spell it out).

After looking at the positive ANA and discussing my symptoms (joint pain, muscle pain, loss of memory, rashes, confusion, strange dreams, exhausted always, hair loss, breathing difficulties etc) he said he believed that I had lupus and put me on plaquinel (?) along with all my other meds. He did more tests and I picked up a copy last week. Everything is negative. Even the ANA that was positive originally. I am not better though. I not only have the rash back on my chest /neck/back I also have the butterfly rash on my face. The knuckle on my thumb is not only sore but now swollen and red. There is no part of me that doesnít hurt and sometimes I just want to crawl in bed and stay there.

My fear though is that this doctor is going to say I am fine since all the tests are now normal. I do have pictures of the rashes in case they are gone before Wednesday but what else to I need to do to make him see that I donít care what the test results say. Something IS wrong. I am sorry to have rambled and I am sure I left out half the things I should have said but I am new to this and any help would be appreciated.