I just wanted to write and say you are not alone in the mom thingee... My mom abandoned my brother and I when I was 4 and he was 1, my dad then married the "evil" stepmom.... sounds like your mom. I was blessed beyond measure with a wonderful mom in law, who is more a mom to me then either of the other ones!!
It was such a relief to find that there were moms out there who really did try and put their kids first, and love no matter what...
"You do not have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body." C.S. Lewis