Hello everyone,

First, I'd like to say that I am completely new to this forum, and I am impressed with the massive user base and support system for those with lupus. It really is a blessing that there are places like this for people to come to and learn how others cope with lupus.

I am a 22 years old and I am in a long time relationship (three years off and on) with a girl that I have never stopped loving even when we weren't together. She has had SLE for a little over a year (or more with a missed diagnosis), and I am trying to become a more empathetic and resourceful boyfriend for her. We live only a few hours a way from each other, so it isn't that bad not being able to be with her during the week, but sometimes it seems longer.

I just want to know what I can possibly say and do, during that time we aren't together, to help her feel like I am extremely dedicated to doing whatever I can to make her feel better. We talk on the phone and I sometimes have a tough time of thinking of ways to cheer her up or maybe having a solution to the added stress of daily life to lupus. I end up apologizing a lot for always asking how she feels, because I FEEL like I should know by now, yet I always stupidly make that mistake. I feel so bad that I don't say the right things in the times she needs me most and I just want her to know that if she ever needed me I would be there in a heartbeat. If there is any advice for a guy that just wants to be more empathetic, I'd love to hear it.

Thank you in advance.