I agree with Magistramarla. You are already doing one of the most important things that you can do; learning as much as you can about this disease, it's medications (& their side effects) and how it can affect ones life. You are to be commended for wanting to help and for coming to us for answers. You are a rarity and she is very lucky to have you!
Having that understanding will mean so much to her. Remember, this disease can affect every single part of our bodies (muscles, tissues, joints, the nervous system, and organs) and it can cause a complete lifestyle change. As such, we are prone to bouts of depression and sometimes even anger due to this great loss. Also know that the disease, itself, causes hormonal changes that can lead to depression. During these periods of depression and/or anger, know that you cannot fix it or make it go away. You need only to be understanding, patient, and supportive.
Also, when she says that she is tired, think of her fatigue (as our moderator Rob described it) as like lying under a lead blanket! It can be a debilitating fatigue that is overwhelming. She is NEVER being lazy and she is NEVER exaggerating!
Lupus is also a disease that changes. Symptoms today may disappear and/or be replaced by new symptoms tomorrow. It is an unpredictable disease. Go through the forums here and you may find the answers to many of your questions. Otherwise, come to us at any time! We are always here to help you and to help her as much as we can. I wish you both the very best.
Peace and Blessings
Last edited by Saysusie; 11-24-2009 at 10:46 AM.
Look For The Good and Praise It!