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Thread: Nobody to talk to, have to stay "positive"

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    Angry Nobody to talk to, have to stay "positive"

    Well I'm positive I have nobody to talk to. I'm positive that my hub hates that I'm sick. I'm positive that new doc here in FL is not as good as my doc
    in Cali, but can't go back. I'm posiitive that I miss working. I'm positive that I don't know who to fix me yet. I'm positive that since I'm so blanking sick that I can't leave my hub (no income). Can't find a support group near me. I'm also positive that my brain, the one thing I could always count on is fading fast and it terrifies me.
    Last edited by rob; 11-12-2009 at 08:20 AM.

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    rob is offline Super Moderator Super ModeratorEmperor of the World
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    Hello Sher,

    It really is hard to be not only sick, but in a new unfamiliar place, and in a situation where you feel trapped too. I was diagnosed wth SLE in 2004. I have been where you are now. It took time, but I got my situation, and my Lupus under control. It took time, effort, and alot of tears, but it all fell into place finally.

    Try to tackle the problems one at a time, and use your "foggy" head to the best of your ability on the most important issue first-your health, as in getting a Dr. and Rheumo you can trust. As far as a support group, most of us can't find one remotely close to us. But, we have this place, and it really can help. It's a real support group, we just don't meet face to face.

    Welcome to our group, and please, make yourself at home. And have hope, things can get better.

    Rob
    Moderator
    Last edited by rob; 11-12-2009 at 10:18 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sheribydesign@msn.com View Post
    Well I'm positive I have nobody to talk to. I'm positive that my hub hates that I'm sick. I'm positive that new doc here in FL is not as good as my doc
    in Cali, but can't go back. I'm posiitive that I miss working. I'm positive that I don't know who to fix me yet. I'm positive that since I'm so blanking sick that I can't leave my hub (no income). Can't find a support group near me. I'm also positive that my brain, the one thing I could always count on is fading fast and it terrifies me.
    We have all been in your situation or at least an a simular one. It took me 3 years to find a good rheumy, my kids and grandkids live in Texas ( we live in NY), the reason I quoted your post is, my brain fog is so bad, that I don't remember, what I am answering to. So you see, we have alot in common, but most important thing we have in common, is this great forum. You will find friends you can talk to, day or night, people who understand what you are going through. Because we all going through pretty much the same thing.
    Don't be discouraged, we are glad to have you in our family.

    Debbie

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    Exclamation thanks rob

    Thanks Rob, your reply really does help me not to feel alone. Sher

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    Hi Sheri,
    Welcome to the group! As Rob and Debbie told you, WHL is a great support group. We're all here if you need support, information or just need to vent.
    Like you, I've also just moved a long distance - from Texas to California. I had just found a great rheumy in San Antonio, so I was a bit disgusted to be searching again, too. I asked for recommendations on this board and on another for Avascular Necrosis. Sure enough, one of the ladies on the AVN site lives in Monterey, and guided me to the best rheumy in town. So - do the same - ask lots of people for recommendations, and get second, third, .or even tenth opinions until you find the one that you "click" with.
    I know that it is tough getting used to new surroundings. I have bad days in which I just want my house, my job, my car and my family back! Our kids are all adults and we've all spread out across the country, which can be hard. I had to give up my teaching job, and I do miss my classroom and my kids. We downsized from a 5 bedroom brick home that we own to renting a duplex in military housing - what a change! Last but not least, I gave my beloved car, which I had driven since it was new, to my son who regularly wrecks cars. We bought a Prius, and we're only using one car while living in Ca. Every time I talk to my son, I ask him if my car is still in one piece!
    I know that it is difficult, but get yourself out there and try to find people around you with interests like yours. If you can't work full-time any more, perhaps you can find a part-time position, or even volunteer work. I've joined the Officers' Wives' Club here, even though I happen to be old enough to be the mother of most of the members. I don't have too much in common with those girls, but I'm persistent, and I keep going to their events, just to get out of the house and see someone other than my hubby and the cats.
    Good luck in Fla. Keep in touch with us here and let us know how you're doing. We're here, and we'll listen - we promise!
    Gentle Hugs,
    Marla

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    I think we all can feel your pain and frustration and send our love and bestt wishes that things come to a place that is better for you. No one understands what we go through but these people in this web site who are there for you no matter what. Hang in there and love and prayers Bonita

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    yes just comnig to back what every one else is saying i live in uk and this is the best group i found the most postive and nearest cause it at end of finger tips! 24 seven with lots of postivity so huge warm welcome to our group and hope thing will begin to look on the up once your settle they say moving is a stressful as divorce so like some one brain fog stops me from remembering who said take it one step at time make sure your settled in home find a good doc and other will fall in to place slowly untill then we're here xxx

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    Welcome to the forum and we so understand and hear you!! So glad you found us all.Take it slow and everyone here will help you through it all.

    Lots of love
    Amanda.xxxx
    I am still here,just been on new meds so unable to function like i used to.I will pop back,just know im thinking of you all and hoping you are keeping on keeping on.xxxxxxx

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    hi sheri. I hope you can feel the support coming from our family here at whl. I know it does not help you to know that we have all been exactly where you are, but the good thing is that we can help you get past this phase, and into a safe place. If you have not read it, the spoon theory is an excellent tool that will help you and your hubby understand what you experience each day. I will find the link, and get back to you......
    the web site is: www.butyoudontlooksick.com/na...SpoonTheory.pdf. .....Good luck, like others said, take it slowly, everything will be ok.
    Last edited by mountaindreamer; 11-12-2009 at 07:57 PM.
    Phyllis

    share a smile today

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    I have to say, that Phyllis having recommended "The Spoon Theory" was exactly what I was going to say! It's a fantastic analogy that has done wonders for loved ones around me being able to get a glimpse of what we deal with daily. This diseases, as with any chronic illness can put a huge strain on relationships of all kinds, especially marriages. Hang in there, and like everyone else said, come here when you need some love and support from those who understand firsthand.

    Also, have you and your husband considered counseling at all? Sometimes, having that objective person there can be a big help.
    Shannon
    Divorced
    Registered Nurse
    Proud Momma to an 8 month old kitten. She was on death's door when I found her and now she growing up into a beautiful cat, she's my baby.


    Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... it's about learning how to dance in the rain.

    God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...
    The courage to change the things I can...
    And the wisdom to know the difference.

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