hi jennyjo, No, you did not do anything wrong. It is common for lupus to start raising its horrid head during childbearing years for women. This is when mine started, but then i enjoyed many years of mostly no symptoms. I was able to raise my children. Then, 2 years ago, my 31 year old daughter was diagnosed with breast cancer. She had the most aggressive type, she was stage 3, her tumor was 7.8 centimeters, and 7 0f 15 lymph nodes were involved. Her children were ages 2 and 3 at the time(see my family photos). My oldest daughter and I teamed up with Amber, and we gave everything that we had. I moved close to her and just did what a mother does. Thank every power that there is, my Amber won her battle. Very shortly after we got the wonderful "cancer free" news that all moms pray to hear, my lupus jumped up and just snatched my life away from me again. My dr. (as i do), believe that it was the stress of fighting the cancer that caused the attack on my entire body. But, i would not have done anything differently, I will always give everything to my children, and i cherish every moment with them, even when i am in a flare. My point is, to convey to you, that yes, this is a devastating diagnosis, but we must protect ourselves......do not let this enemy take away any more of our life. You must find a way to put it into its place, because that is the only way that you will be able to enjoy these precious years with your children. Remember, i completely raised mine, and i am still kicking at the age of 56 (or is it 57)................rediscover laughter, my friend.....don't let lupus take it away from you.