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Thread: Am I wrong for making my husband compromise

  1. #1
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    Default Am I wrong for making my husband compromise

    Hi everyone,

    I hate to vent and post a thread only when i am pissy =/ But I would like to hear yall thoughts on this.

    My husband pretty much calls the shots, when I wanted kids and I got the go ahead my husband so no he wasn't ready. Now he wants kids (I will be 28 next month) and my lyme is positive and the doctor told me I needed to wait. And I feel bad because he sounded upset when I told him but I really think he feels this is a joke. When I came to him and said honey we have a window of opportunity (SLE is remission, lyme is clear, etc) He said no. Now we have to wait.

    And I just feel bad at times cuz I'm wondering if in his head he is thinking man I wish she was healthier or I had a healthier wife.

    So I had been searching for a puppy (not to change the subject) He always says no to the idea of having a pet but I feel like hey dude I compromised with the kid part u gotta give me something here......I am home alone all day, he golfs with his family and friends ....and leaves me home.

    I guess I just want something to love and have something love me back.....

    (fyi I grew up on a farm it's killn me not to have pets!!)

    What do u all think, should I forget about the puppy and just wait??

    Love you guys and hope all is well!!! xoxox

    neL

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    No...get the puppy...I love my hubby, but you just described him...It took me a long time to come to grips with the fact that I am able to make decisions....At times, I feel when I ask to do something like having a baby he says no because it is my idea...
    You do have a say...It is ok to submit if that is what you are doing, but you do have a mind and you should be in on the babymaking decisions...it is terrible that your illness doesn't fit in his plans, but that is reality...if you doc says don't try for a baby, then there is the answer....
    Do get yourself a puppy and/or a cat....please don't let him take that from you....
    I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep.......Robert Frost

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    I would not forget about the puppy. I am sure the puppy would be a joy to you.

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    As a guy I would say go for it! If he can go off and do what he wants, you can too.
    A puppy is a responsibility, but it can be yours. Kids on the other hand are more than a responsibilty, they are a lifelong obligation and the decision to have them must be mutual.
    Murphy was an optimist.

    O'Toole's Commentary on Murphy's Law

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    rob is offline Super Moderator Super ModeratorEmperor of the World
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    I try to avoid giving advice on relationships because, well, my track record of train wrecks doesn't really qualify me.

    But, I'd be happy to give my opinion on the pet issue. Get a pet! There are thousands of wonderful animals at the local humane society in need of a home. Helping just one of them can be one of the most rewarding experiences a person can have. I have three cats, one from the Humane Society, one was a stray, and one a kitten of the stray. My cats give me love and enjoyment every minute of every day.

    Definitely get a pet!

    Rob

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    Awww thanks everyone for your input!!! I so appreciate it =) And Rob I am rescuing a pupppy I so believe in that as well. I rescued a puppy in high school and a cat and it is the best thing!

    And u guys are right they do give u so much joy!

    And Thanks sick n tired u are right I do have a voice and I shouldn't be afraid to put my foot down sometimes =)

    xoxoxox,

    neL

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    Not to sound demeaning to guys- but getting a puppy will oftentimes show you a new side of your husband... how well he would handle toddlers

    If your husband can do what he wants, you can do what you want. If he can't compromise with you- better you figure that out now when you dont have kids because once ya'll do have kids- compromise will be a very necessary marriage saving tool ...
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    Quote Originally Posted by justomegirlindallas View Post
    Not to sound demeaning to guys- but getting a puppy will oftentimes show you a new side of your husband... how well he would handle toddlers

    If your husband can do what he wants, you can do what you want. If he can't compromise with you- better you figure that out now when you dont have kids because once ya'll do have kids- compromise will be a very necessary marriage saving tool ...
    Amen Anna! I strongly believe that a person will treat pets and kids similar. If the OP's hubby is selfish AND mean/impatient with a pet, I would definitely reconsider having a child with that person. And if having children is very important to you, I would strongly suggest that you examine your relationship before it's too late for you to have children.

    My dad was MEAN and impatient with our dogs-just heartless. Well guess what, he's even meaner and more impatient today (but that's another story).

    We all deserve unconditional love, which pets can provide, as well as companionship. They are so forgiving. Our lab mix came from a shelter and couldn't be more loved. But, having been raised on a farm and having adopted a puppy previously, you, OP, obviously know that

    Just my two cents.

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    Hey, get the pet if you are able to care for it and it makes you happy.. the kids will come soon enough. They are a handful, but well worth it. Esp the fact that you are rescuing one! That is super sweet..

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    Justtome, Bonusmom,

    Oooo that scares me. I really worried about that. I will watch him closely.....
    I have thought about not having kids with him to be honest...and I just don't know how much he would be there to help raise the babies. I don't want him to be like okay i'm ready for the fun stuff to teach him golf, bball football etc.

    That was my father (and why does us women tend to marry our fathers =(
    My mom said he mite have changed two diapers while we were young.....

    JennyJo, Awww thanks =) yeah I'm excited I pick him up tomorrow at 10am =)

    Thanks again for responding everyone!!!

    xoxoox,

    neL

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