hi porchy, your words so eloquently described our lives. Sounds like you are really in a bad flare, and i hope that today finds you feeling better. Don't beat yourself up about cancelling the rheumy appt. You have accomplished so much lately, and this is just one small set back. I can understand your frustration...even though i am crazy about my rheumy, i know that when i go to see her and explain my new pains, etc., that she will not be able to do anything to help me....she tries, but life is what it is for us. Yes, we ride around in the car wishing that we could be out walking and enjoying life. I have a wonderful park accross the street from my home, and i listen to all of the people laughing and having fun playing games, I walk over and watch from the outside....i feel like i am not even in the same world as them. This is just one of the many heartbreaks that we face. I hope you feel like antique shopping today, and i hope the fresh fall weather brings a beautiful day your way.