I know exactly what you mean by your doctor's pawning you off to each other. It might be helpful for you to make your Rheumatologist aware of the fact that, since your primary continues contribute your pain to your disease, he refuses to treat the pain. So, therefore, since the rheumatologist is the one who treats your disease, he MUST treat your pain. You refuse to be bounced around any longer!!
With reference to home remedies for pain, it is very important for you to know that many supplements and/or herbal medications actually worsen the symptoms of our disease. So, unfortunately, we must avoid almost ALL of them!! Some have said that Omega 3 Fish oil helps with pain and inflammation and there have been quite a few studies about the use of Fish Oils with Lupus. Please remember that you must never stop taking your prescribed medications without the consent of and monitoring by your doctors.
For alternatives to pain management that does not include drugs or supplements, many have turned to acupuncture. Others have had some success with chiropractors. Also non-jarring exercises have been touted as helping to manage pain. These would be similar to those used in rehabilitation and/or yoga. Similar to yoga is relaxation therapy (I actually use this when my Fibro is acting up). Often, I find that it helps me to calm my body and to release some tension (which aggravates my pain) and, subsequently, reduces some of my pain.
Perhaps someone will be along with more information for you, but hopefully I've helped you a bit. I wish you the best and hope that you do find some relief from your pain.
Peace and Blessings
Look For The Good and Praise It!