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Thread: this is a vent on my spouses beware....

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    Default this is a vent on my spouses beware....

    Warning this is a vent or a rant about my spouse....

    I love him dearly but sometimes he drives me nuts...
    I may be lupie but I am not crazy...

    What is the deal with men??? they think they know it all and have all the answers... or at least mine does....several years ago my hubby was dignosed with diabetes, and high blood pressure... according to him for years he was just fine.... then one day he goes to the dr and now he has all these problems that he fills that the dr gave him.... He says if he had not went to the dr that he would not have know that he had diabates....Now he is having problems from it, but to hear him tell it, he is just fine....

    The man does not take his medication, he drinks (4) 2 liters a day of mt dew... yes you read that right He says that the dr filled his head with the fact that he has a problem and now he feels that his mind is getting the best of him and causing him to go down hill....

    His thinking about it is, if the dr had not told him this he would still be fine... He could still get up and run around like he did he when he was 20, the man is getting close to 40... Does he not understand that the older you get the worse you feel... Does he not understand that if you don't take your meds you will not get better, you will in fact get worse....

    me makes me so mad sometimes about his medical condition... if he could only walk in my shoes for a day.... He gets mad when I jump on him for not taking his meds, but lord if I forget he goes crazy.... so what's the deal....

    One day I fear I will find him dead because he did not listen to me or to the dr... His comment on that is (Well I will be dead no big deal) It is a big deal to me... I want to grow old with him, I can't do that if he's dead....

    How do you get someone to listen when they think they know it all??? I have showed him what can happen to someone that does not take thier diabates medication, my friend Tracy lost her leg because of it.... I don't want him like that.... Plus who will take care of me if something happens to him....

    He thinks he is going to live forever and mt dew will help keep him alive.... (I swear his blood runs green) I actually have stock in Mt dew he loves it so much....

    He refuses to go back to the dr, his thinking they are all quacks.... but only when it comes to him..... He went to the dr in the first place because he had a problem now is says he wished he had never went, now he feels like he has all kinds of problems....

    what should I do......kicking him in the butt don't work.....
    Lea
    SLE Lupus diagnosed 8/8/11
    COPD,Raynauda's, IBS, Asthma, Sleep Apena, Amenia and Arthritis,Diabetes,Reflux TMJ, temporal arteritis
    Half dead, cripple and crazy but still above ground.
    Medication
    Novolog injections, Medrol injections, MTX injections, Dicyclomine, Plaqulin, Iron, Spreva inhaler, Advair inhaler, Albuteral inhaler, Fish Oil, Calcium, Diclofenac, Citalopram and doxcycline

  2. #2
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    Default

    I am not a therapist, but I think it sounds like he is in denial about his own health. It's a defense mechanism and a self-preservation mechanism for him. He must care about you a lot though, since he worries so when you miss a dose of your medication. I would keep on trying to talk sense to him. Hopefully, he will wake up and take care of himself. You sound like you are doing your utmost to take care of him and his health. Take care.

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    Default

    Hi...

    I think to admit he is ill...means in his thought process he is weak and vulnerable. I think if he was to talk to a man, a peer, his age group with similar diseases might help.

    Know, there is nothing you can say or do to change him, his thoughts...something will enlighten him, a revelation. Perhaps, leave literature in the bathroom where he is more apt to read it...and say nothing. The more you say, the more he will tune you out.

    As we say here...you have to be your advocate and that starts with education...

    Just do the best you can..if you cook, watch the type of foods you provide...what he chooses to ingest or not is on him...

    Threats of death...the side effects is like telling a smoker about cancer and etc. When people think that, sometimes they need a rude awakening...sometimes people have to hit the bottom before then even realize their daily decisions affect their lives and the lives around them..you and the children..

    Sad, but that is how is goes for most...

    Forty isn't old...if he takes care of himself in all aspects, food and exercise he could have a fulfilling, healthy life with diabetes. Diabetes doesn't mean early death...just means to live a conscientious life....like we do..or know we should too....

    So maybe leave positive readings about the house of how one can live a good life with diabetes instead of the 'scary things'....that may or may not happen...

    Enjoy this day...I am so far...
    Love,
    Oluwa
    I have Lupus. So *^#@! what.

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    Leann,

    I would say you have your work cut out for you. All men do think they know everything I agree with you. I dont know what to tell a person that doesnt listen. So what i recommend is good old- fashioned trickery, lol, lol, lol. What i mean is maybe putting his medication into his meals??? Does he have to take a insulin shot???? That might be tricky to figure out, but the meds are a start. Goodluck Honey I wish I had more advice.

    Chriss
    Live, love, and most importantly be grateful!!

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    Default

    hi leeann,

    reading your post made me remember something that my cousin went through. Her husband moped around the house, complaining all of the time, etc. My cousin kept telling him to go to the dr....his response..."no, they will just make it worse." So, finally, she refused to have any sympathy for him,,,,just let him moan and wine etc with no response from her. Finally, he went the dr. they found some damage to his spine that they fixed with surgery, but they also found protrate cancer, which they are presently treating. i remember her being so frustrated and feeling badly that she was treating with such lack of compassion...,.but it worked and he is on his way back to good health.

    i also have a friend who has diabetes....she decided to try the diet approach in order to keep off of insulin....she changed her diet, and now she lives a good life without medication....maybe he will try the diet thing, but he has to give up mt. dew.

    i also like the idea of smashing his meds into his food....that is what i do with my picky little yorky...i gues a male is a male whether human or canine. ha ha ha

    i agree with drinkofwtr....sounds like he really cares about you....maybe you two could become a team fighting for each other's health.

    good luck....keep us posted.
    Phyllis

    share a smile today

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    Default Mt Dew

    I hope it's Diet Mt Dew if has diabates. The regular has tons of sugar.

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    Thanks everyone,

    He is drinking regular mt dew,and takes pills for his diabates... the dr said if he followed the rules he would not need the meds in about a year but had to change his diet and everything... But he refused to listen, now he just keeps saying that he's going down hill everyday....

    I got so mad with him the other night I told him it was all in his head... He didn't like that.... He needs to change his thinking about it and not think that he takes the meds he will only get worse... I bull headed and getting worse about it....

    It's a hard raod but I am ready to fight for what I feel he needs.... He's just being a big baby about this....
    Lea
    SLE Lupus diagnosed 8/8/11
    COPD,Raynauda's, IBS, Asthma, Sleep Apena, Amenia and Arthritis,Diabetes,Reflux TMJ, temporal arteritis
    Half dead, cripple and crazy but still above ground.
    Medication
    Novolog injections, Medrol injections, MTX injections, Dicyclomine, Plaqulin, Iron, Spreva inhaler, Advair inhaler, Albuteral inhaler, Fish Oil, Calcium, Diclofenac, Citalopram and doxcycline

  8. #8
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    Default

    you took the words right out of my mouth! mine's been driving me crazy too. he thinks that if you just simply ignore it that it just does't exist. we just had a disscussion about this subject a few days ago. he was trying to tell me that my health probelms were all in my head and that there was nothing wrong with me. i'm thinking to myself if i can see this rash plain as day, is it really all in my head?..............so today, i'm sitting here on the comp. playing games, he says did you hear that rooster?(odd because we live in the city). i said no i didn't hear anything. again he says did you hear it? again i said no. he opens the window, a miniute later he says you have to had heard it this time. again i say no. he says maybe you need to go get your ears checked!(he forgot that i told him about all of the severe ear infections i had as a child, and the fact that i can't hear as well in one ear due to a perforated ear drum) so maybe i just should have asked him "are you sure its not just all in your head?"

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