dealing with spouses
Okay, I know it's mostly women on this board, which I think is a good thing.
Because I need help dealing w/my wife. For the most part, she's great, but the last few days she's been really difficult to deal with -- drinking a lot (imo, at least) which led me to very gently ask her this morning if there was anything I could do, which then touched off this huge discussion (on and off all day) about how she can't stand the 'negative energy' around me. I've told her that I'm doing my best to not be negative (and really, it's more sad than negative - there's a big difference) but it's kind of hard with the way my life has fallen apart in the last year. (lost job, had very very rough relationship patch when she decided she was just going to say whatever the hell she thought/felt regardless of the consequences, got new job at huge pay cut and accompanied by empty promises, blah blah blah. Plus she's totally career-focused AND in school almost full-time, so there's little time/energy left for me or anyone else - our friends are dropping like flies because we never do anything). Further, she said several months ago that sex during the week was out of the question because she is just too tired, but now there's no (or very little) sex on weekends.
Anyway, all that aside. She says she's 'saturated' with the negative energy and can't take any more. But as noted above, I'm more sad than negative -- it's hard to see my body wasting away, not to be able to go in the sun, to worry about whether I'll be able to keep my job, not having a sex life anymore, yada yada. I try my best to not be critical or negative, but frankly, it's hard, especially when I hear that from her. As I pointed out (gently) today, I didn't ask for this disease, I didn't DO anything to get it, I didn't deserve it (as far as I know ) and her witholding sex and just generally being a bitch because she doesn't like the 'negative energy' is really getting old.
Sorry for the rant. Just writing it down does help some...
thanks all, and happy saturday!