I am have a bit of a trying time right now. Some of you know that I have had some blood work done and they were focusing on if I was going through menopause at 30. Some of it came back and they e-mailed it to me and it was fine. These consisted of regular blood work like cholesterol. The rest came in on Friday and the doctor said we needed to discuss these results in person. I have always had my results given to me over the phone, this was due to that fact that they have been pretty normal or consistent in the past. Something just isn't right. I tried to get in to see him Friday but he was out all afternoon. He wanted to see me as early as possible on Monday but I can not get over to the doctors until Tuesday morning. I have been sad and worried about it all weekend. Why couldn't they have just told me this on Monday so that I didn't worry all weekend???? Poopy doctors office!!!!!
To top it off, Tim just left for 10 days. There is an annual motorcycle trip that he goes on with his brother and they leave L.A. Wednesday morning but he had to go a bit early so he could get familiar with the bike he is borrowing and to get all his gear tied down to it. He gets home one week from this coming Wednesday. They will be going through lots of mountains and there will be a lot of time where I am unable to even talk to him. Don't get me wrong, I am really happy he is going on this trip and it is great for him and his brother and all that guy bonding. I just miss him. I miss my best friend, especially when I have to go to the doctor and get some news from the doctor on Tuesday. I really wish he was going to be there with me. I asked my friend to go with me and she said of course she would go. At least I am not going to be alone.
This is the worst part I have to admit but we are always so honest with each other here on this forum and I think it will help if I just say it. Tim and I are not married and I worry that when he is gone on this amazing trip he won't want to come home to me.....I know it is silly. It is just that I am so lucky! How did I get soooooo lucky with him????? I just don't want him to change his mind about staying beside me through my disease......or I should say our disease. Please tell me I am being silly with that. We have been together for about 3 years and it has been great......even through the hard times. I love him more and more everyday
I just miss him! The good thing is that he took me to see a movie yesterday and we had a great time even thought I was still feeling bad from my methotrexate shot. It is so funny but when I know he is leaving I make sure my hand is touching him all night!!!!! I just think I need a dog to keep me company!!!!!! My wish is going to be answered this weekend......I am going to house sit and dog sit this coming weekend! It will help pass my time and, not to mention, I love this dog They have actually left the dog to Tim and I in their will!!!!!!! This is also the friend who is going to the doctor with me.
Ok, I am done going on and on here! Tim will be home in 10 days and everything will be fine. Maybe the doctor just missed me and that is why he is calling me in......wishful thinking but at least I am wishing :angleic:
As I grow to understand life less and less,
I learn to love it more and more.
Age 29, Lupus for last 7 years
Medications: Methotrexate, Lyrica, Celebrex, Flexeril, Theophylline, Bactrim, Xopenex, Lisinopril, Ultram