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Thread: My so- called night out.....

  1. #11
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    Yeah, Amanda I think you hit the nail right on the head. And yuo guys r just awesome.

    Sandy, I live in Detroit... Midwest and yeah if I was in Ny I would definitely call you seem like a very sweet person and I could always use a sweet kind friend. So if i ever come to visit we should definitely do lunch or something

    Thanks for being there guys. U have made my day
    Chriss
    Live, love, and most importantly be grateful!!

  2. #12
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    that sounds like a plan to me!!!!!!
    As long as this body works, I am going to enjoy life to the fullest for each second of every moment that I can.



  3. #13
    rob is offline Super Moderator Super ModeratorEmperor of the World
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    Chriss

    I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have friends again (other than online). Living a solitary life has it's ups and downs, but it's OK as I don't have to put up with stuff like this. I'm sorry you had such a terrible time. People can be really inconsiderate and self centered. It's best to weed out all the "fair-weather" friends, and put your friendship and effort into just a couple of really good people. Be the best friend you can be to the ones who consistently care, and forget about the rest. Quality over quantity.

    Rob

  4. #14
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    Hi Chriss,

    I'm in Metro Detroit too, so I know exactly what you mean about not finding a place to park downtown. In fact, I just stopped going because I have too much trouble walking...not to mention with the brain fog I get hopelessly lost sometimes.

    I'm really sorry to hear about what happened with your friends. I know how much it hurts to be let down by the people you care about. When I was first diagnosed, I 'changed' friends. As awful as it was at the time to be hurt by people I believed with all my heart were my true friends, it was actually a good thing in the end. Because now, the people I have in my life ARE true friends, people I know I can call anytime and they will be there for me. Some of them can't be physically here to go out with because they live too far away, but they are just a phone call or e-mail away, and that matters too.

    I was diagnosed in the fall of 2006, and I've sure learned a lot since then. I was always there for my friends, never said no when they needed me. Since lupus and Sjogrens, I had to learn to say no and to put myself first. If I am not up to doing something, I don't do it. The way I look at it, when I take care of myself first, I am able to be there for others more often and more deeply. If I'm struggling, I help no one.

    But hey, it sounds like we're in the same area - maybe we can meet up sometime soon!
    Love...faith...joy...hope...strength...
    Lupus, you have no chance!

    Love and hugs,
    Cheryl
    (mom to my little Chihuahua, Brandi)


    Diagnosed with SLE, Sjogren's, Reynaud's, Celiac, and arthritis November 2006.

  5. #15
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    Oh how lovely....see making new friends on here all the time and maybe to meet up too...fab! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
    I am still here,just been on new meds so unable to function like i used to.I will pop back,just know im thinking of you all and hoping you are keeping on keeping on.xxxxxxx

  6. #16
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    Brandi, that would be awesome especially since Ive been trying to find a support group that fits my scheduls and Im unsuccessful, bcuz all of them apppear to be in the middle of the day while im at work, lol. So yeah, if you ever wanna hook up or something I'd like that.


    Rob, u right its not quantity it is quality. And Im lacking both, isnt that just awful.

    Im glad I can come and talk to u guys and ur straight up with me, because for a second I was feeling like maybe I was over- reacting, bcuz Im so emotional and maybe I was being over sensitive?? if you will?? I dont know, but I asked a few co- workers and they agreed with u guys.

    chriss
    Live, love, and most importantly be grateful!!

  7. #17
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    you are not being oversensative in my opinion. they are being very unsensative. Rob's right. quality counts much more.
    As long as this body works, I am going to enjoy life to the fullest for each second of every moment that I can.



  8. #18
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    Chriss, you weren't being oversensitive AT ALL!!! Unfortunately, it sounds like they were being very self-absorbed, selfish, and had no clue what you are going through. And what I learned too is that it's not their fault really; people generally do the best they can with what they understand at the time. They just aren't at a place right now that they can support you because of whatever is going on in their own lives. Maybe one day they'll 'get it', but until then, surround yourself with people who truly love you and care about you...people who understand.

    As far as a support group, I've gone to a few from the Michigan Indiana Lupus Alliance and really enjoyed them. They rotate the locations, so each location has a meeting every three months, spread all over Michigan and Indiana. I'm going to the meeting on Wednesday, July 29th in St. Clair Shores. It's after work time, from 6:30 - 8:00 p.m. The facilitator, Chuck, is really great and I liked the people I met there although it is a pretty small group. Want to meet there? There will probably be a meeting in Farmington next month as well, and Southfield met last month, but I didn't go to that one. Southfield may work well for you too - they meet on Saturday afternoons and the facilitator is a friend of mine from church - GREAT person!

    I'd love to get together, maybe at the end of July or beginning of August? I have a friend from Canada visiting me on Wednesday for a week, so I'm tied up with those plans until she leaves, and I'll likely need a few days to rest after that.

    Hang in there - it may take time, but you'll sort through your friends and find a circle of friends that will lift you up when you need it. And in the meantime, we're here for you.
    Love...faith...joy...hope...strength...
    Lupus, you have no chance!

    Love and hugs,
    Cheryl
    (mom to my little Chihuahua, Brandi)


    Diagnosed with SLE, Sjogren's, Reynaud's, Celiac, and arthritis November 2006.

  9. #19
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    I'm sorry you had to go through that. That is very hard especially when you need to go out to get rid of the tension. Your friends seem really self-involved and they may not even realize they are taking you for granted or advantage of you. Next time they call let it go to voice mail and call back at a later time explaining you were too busy to take the call..hopefully that will snap some reality back into them and force some sensitivity back. Try not to abandon all hope they are your friends for a reason. And you always have us although we may seem far away you will never know when we will be in your neck of the woods. My work has been rotating several people to Detroit for 2-3 weeks at a time. So maybe I'll be in your neck of the woods one day and I will gladly have a beer with you.

  10. #20
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    Cheryl, that sounds great I inbox you my info, I live near Grosse Pointe so the St. Clair Shores meeting would be very close for me. So maybe I can try and make that Wednesday meeting. Is the guy Chuck Pottenger? Anyway we will definitely talk, so thanx for everything and talk to u soon
    Live, love, and most importantly be grateful!!

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