A Little Reminder That WeAre Not Alone
Today was a tough day for me personally. I had a day full of doctors appointment and a list of questions for each one. The rheum and I had a heart to heart about SSD and we came to the conclusion, with the help of an attorney, that because of my age and education level ( I don't really get the significance of the two) I am better off not filing for SSD at this point in my life. I will be better off emotionally and mentally working even if it is only 15 hours a week. My doctor said that they frown on encouraging anyone to file for SSD in their entire office because they want you to be as active in the community and life in general as long as you really can. I can't say I agree and I can't say I disagree. So, we are going to treat my disease one day at a time and keep me healthy so that I can have an as normal life as I can.
The next doctor said my hot flashes are not normal and at 30 there is a strong possibility I am starting to go through menopause. I have no children yet and was planning on having a family in the next four years. I am not ready today and will not be ready tomorrow. So, we are looking at my bone density along with everything else under the sun. At least I will know what is going on and I will not feel weird anymore when I am so hot!!!!!!!!!! Better to be informed than to turn a cheek and look away. So, here we go! Tomorrow is filled with lots of blood work and lots of other tests to see why, at such a young age, I am having these issues. If this is going on, it actually started when I was in my twenties, I have only been 30 for 2 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, we ended the day at the store. I stepped on something and just figured I had gum and a rock stuck to the bottom on my shoe. I went through the grocery store trying to scrape it off without looking at what I was scraping off. I really didn't care what flavor the gum on the bottom of my shoe was! As we were walking to the car it was still stuck to the bottom of my shoe!!!!!!!!! I got in the car and looked at what was stuck to my shoe and you will never guess.............it was an angel. I had an angel pin stuck in the sole of my shoe. It was a very sad day for my young heart but the frown diminished as I realized what I had always known..............I never have been or will be alone through any of this.
As I grow to understand life less and less,
I learn to love it more and more.
Age 29, Lupus for last 7 years
Medications: Methotrexate, Lyrica, Celebrex, Flexeril, Theophylline, Bactrim, Xopenex, Lisinopril, Ultram