Hello you guys,
Iím having one of those ďwhy meĒ days Ė its pathetic I know but I am having trouble snapping out of it. I am so frustrated as the past couple of days have been more what I can only describe as bearable with the lupus symptoms and yet today I feel as though I have gone another 10 steps backwards.
I am at work right now and have so much to do but my body is telling me to go home and rest. Even if I asked to go home from work I have a 2 Ĺ hour journey on public transport to get home and I know that my body cannot get me there right now. I have so much to do at home too and I am feeling overwhelmed today.
I am so annoyed at myself as I have been diagnosed over 18 months ago, but I am still letting this disease get me down and affect my life in every aspect. I really wish I knew what to do so that I can accept it and take the rough with the smooth. Instead of just appreciating the smooth, if that makes sense?
I feel so sick and dizzy and faint with a temperature, like I have been drugged or something, and I just know from past experiences that this is the start of my lupus flaring up to be unbearable again and it will only lighten when I take some serious rest, I know you guys get what I am saying. Every time my symptoms worsen I fear what will come to me. I just canít believe there are so many things wrong with me, itís like an ironic joke or something. I want to be able to help myself or at least accept my fate but I just donít know what to do.
Iím so sorry for the poor me post, I realise there are so many more people at there much worse off then I. I just know that this is a place where I can express my feelings and hope that someone out there can relate and take a moment to reply and perk my spirits up and see me through this day.
Thanks so much for listening, you have no idea how much I appreciate it.
I know how you feel. Venting is good, crying also. I use to try to keep it in. It doesn't help at all. Oh, laughing is great. Call that someone that can make you laugh and smile. Give them a call right now. Then get some rest and do something nice for yourself or visit someone that you haven't seen in long time or finish a hobbie that you enjoy that you have been putting off. After this, sit down with a nice cup of tea and play music that soothes you. Make a list of things you need to do by priority. Separate 1 to 2 items a day for the week. If you still have tons of things to do, ask for help. I had a problem with this also. But I couldn't believe how supportive my family and friends were. Even my boss and co-workers were when I told them about Lupus. I gave them brochures. Of course, I suggest this only if you like your boss and co-workers and vice versa. God forbid that someone would use this to stress you out more! I hope you feel better. If you need someone to listen, please e-mail me. I'll be happy to share some of my Aloha. Take care and be well, Ruvi
Thanks Ruvi for your reply.
Your so right about the hobbies suggestion. I have been looking into this so that instead of getting home from work and collapsing on the sofa and watching tv untill i fall asleep ops: , I have been getting interested in making things. Its so hard at first as when you feel as us lupies do, you just want to entirely rest when your tired (well speaking from the way it makes me feel personally obviously, I realise everyone handles it differently).
But now I am finding that keeping the mind active and getting excited about things again does put me in a better frame of mind. But with days like yesterday, I sometimes find it harder on the days when I cant cope, if that makes sense.
I think I probably do need to reach out to people and ask for help sometimes, but I just cannot do it most of the time. I was brought up to just get on things myself, but in this situation I dont know if thats the best approach. I'm learning though, I think???
The Bible helps me. I have an audio one read by Alexander Scourby. If you're interested in it, let me know by pm. I hope that things get better for you. tc
Hi madthumbs, thanks so much for replying to me and for your very kind suggestion. it appears i have missed out, but thanks again for your offer your too kind.
I know how you're feeling.
Most of the time I feel like breaking down, crying...
I was diagnosed in Jan., havent worked since, though Im going back the 17th of july. I think it will be good for me. Ive been cooped up in this house, but recently, Ive been feeling better, and sitting outside, and stuff.
Ive been really depressed, and nothing seems to help. I hope you get better.
Hugs all around -- they do help. Though when I really hurt, like today, gentle ones must do!
I find that reading, poetry and music help me. I listen to classical mainly, it soothes the soul. I tried meditation for a while, and may go back to it. It did slow my mind, quiet my soul, which helped.
And...laughter helps. I've been known to laugh out loud while reading the comic pages (start there with the paper, not with the headlines!) If I can find a silly show on TV, I'll watch it and laugh out loud.
Today I too want to just sit and sleep. I wonder, does the phase of the moon affect us?