I've been missing from here way too long. I have so much catching up to do, but I look forward to it. I missed you all! I went through some things that kept me off line a lot.

I went off three of my big main meds and that was a three week nasty scary mess. I couldn't think straight for more than ten seconds, lost sensation in the bladder, and couldn't tell if I was hungry or sleepy. Had an overall nightmare time with withdrawal. No more Cymbalta, Opana ir or ER though. I got rid of the drugs because they were not helping, making me feel worse, and I fired the primary that kept pushing them on me. I'm doing much better "brain wise" now. It feels so good to be more like myself again. I promise you I'm much more cheerful than the person you all have met. Lol. The drugs impaired me so badly. It's good to have my half a brain back.

But...my newest specialist's office called me a while back and told me they found elevated anticardiolipin antibodies (sticky platelets) and they want me to have an MRI of my brain to check to see if there are any clots causing my headaches and eye pain. Just when I thought I couldn't be floored again by news from a doctor...

I'm pretty scared about this one and could use some prayers for courage. I have the mri on Tuesday. I'm also getting an ultrasound done of my gall bladder because I've had symptoms that make us wonder if there's something wrong there. I'm doing okay but I need to keep a stiff upper lip you know? Sometimes it's hard. You all know what that's like and what I mean. I sure do appreciate you all. My hubby has been through some awful hellish things lately. His main worry is me bless his heart. I've seen the man scared so many times the past year over me that it's awful. And this last bit of news made him go white in the face. His dad had sticky platelets with a different disease that killed him last year. So, when he heard this new news my doc found, he automatically thought of his dad and it scared him so bad. The fear on his face is the worse I've seen yet and it just breaks my heart to see him like that. He has already been through so much. he's still jumpy but trying to put on a strong face for me. He forgets we've been married for 21 years and he can't hide much. I don't want him to be scared of this based on his father's death. It doesn't mean the same thing as what his dad had, the poor man. So please pray for my hubby too. My kids are going by how I react to things so they're good.

I'm getting so tired of fear! Some peace that would last longer than a few days in a row would be really nice!