Oh i feel for you and sending you massive hugs. Have you actually spoken to your wife....let her know your feelings? Has she spoke to you....her feelings and worries? She loves you dearly i bet and is probably scared for you,worried for you. You are going through so much at once.....its cruel. Im not sure about the meds,but im sure someone will come along soon and help you out. Listen....you mention there depression can give symptoms of Lupus....well..i was told i had Lupus...then after bloods were done they said ive not. I suffer horrible depression with severe anxiety.To the point i sometimes dont leave the house for months.I tried to fake it at work,but i had no choice when i started hearing voices...due to severe insomnia...i had to stop working.
I understand the massive issues you are dealing with here,you have to work to get money,be well for the family.BUT if you are too depressed....just maybe you are thinking all the worst as you are so overwhelmed with all these things in your life are going on.....i hope this is the case. Im sure if you wife wasnt happy....would she still be there?
Hope you begin to feel better soon,get answers,help,support.You try and hang in a bit longer.You dont know what tomorrow will bring.Everyones luck in life and health does change for the better at some point....hope yours is on its way.