A nice, relaxing massage with a nicely scented oil usually works for me. The massage helps my aches and pains and usually leads elsewhere!
I don't care how much pain I'm in, it's easy to get me into the mood. Just think, those endorphins that your body releases when you're having fun :> can actually make the pain feel better , or at least get your mind off of it!
Yes, there is a reason that I have 5 children!
This has been an ongoing issue between my hubby and me. To his credit, he does try to put my pleasure first, but, he still is so frustrated when he doesn't "get some" my words not his, as often as he thinks he is supposed to. He watches things like Dr Oz, and applies what he hears to us, when we are not at all like an average couple. He feels denied, and deprived of a healthy sex life since his estimation of one has to do with frequency even though he says quality is just as important. He thinks we need to be intimate at least 3 to 8 times a week, because Dr Oz says it will put ten years on our lives. Call me crazy, but, if I have to maintain that pace I think I would rather give up that ten years to stop the insanity sooner.
I have talked to him, and he says he knows about my fatigue and pain, and he also says he feels it could be worked around. When we discuss it he gets defensive at the mere mention of possibly not having sex as often as he thinks we should, or, he goes totally the other way and says he'll just have to accept that his sex life is basically over. No guilt there.
Don't get me wrong, I do like to be intimate with my husband, and I wish and often fantasize that we had the sex life of two 20 year olds in perfect, vigorous health. When it comes time to fulfill that dream, I just can't. I often find myself more interested in intimacy earlier in the day, not mornings because Im still struggling from the pain of trying to sleep and needing to get my body moving, but, more like afternoons and early evening. That isn't always convenient based on other things we have going on, like work, things to do with the kids, etc.
Im not sure how to help him find satisfaction in our intimacy without freaking him out about things having to change at all. The mention of change in intimacy makes him panic and throws him into a mid life crisis. Being 51 and 50 respectively, he is already panicked at the notion that he himself is approaching a time in his life where his own libido will decrease, he doesnt want to give away a single year.
Maybe we're unusual, but we're 52 and 53 and we're having a great time! The last kid married and moved out, we packed up and moved to the west coast, and my hubby went back to college. He's been acting like our college days, too!
On the evening that he gives me my MTX shot, I want nothing more than a gentle massage and to curl up to try to sleep. The rest of the week, I'm receptive to almost anything. Even if I haven't been feeling too great that day, a bit of gentle intimacy makes me feel relaxed and sleepy. My knees can't take my weight anymore, which makes me feel a bit bad. I'm just not as lively as I used to be, while my hubby is just as athletic as ever.
However, we work around my sore joints and muscles.
It's fun to relive the college days. We're going to college parties and enjoying walks on the beach. Life is good! The AI issues just slow me down a little.