WAY TO GO GIRL!!!!!! wish you could come with me to my appointments x
Well the ambulance turned up late again, so im so stressed out now as its gone past my appointment time. I feel so sick on the way and finally get there. The dread was swarming me, there were 50 people in the waiting room,not what you want to see when you suffer with panic attacks.I sit at the back.In my head im remembering what Lori,Lucky7,Ashley,Mdreamer,Oluwa Rob and so many others of you wh kindly was helping me 'get tough' with the Demons.....sorry Doctors.
As i sat there, hot and bothered, a nurse walk passed me.I told her i was late and asked if she could help as i was having a panic attack, even though it was mild, she said she'll see what she can do. Five minutes later a nurse came and got me as the poor people sat there, who had waited an age gave me dirty looks.But sorry, i didnt care....ive waited since Cristmas and im distressed now!
It was the lady Doctor,surgeon. She started by telling me the scan shown her nothing as, somebody didnt stay in it long enough ME!
Then i explained why and she was nice then started fobbing me off with the 'get rid' talk. She wanted me to go back on Lyrica ,Tramadol and Amitryptaline. When i told her my problems on them, she then started talking down to me saying well, theres nothing i can do if we dont have a scan.You WONT take the meds i prescribed for you.....OH I FLIPPED!!!!
I TOLD HER.....IF YOU THINK IM GOING TO BE TOLD TO TAKE DRUGS WHICH MAKE ME STOP WEEING AND GET MIGRANES YOU ARE WRONG! aND IF YOU THINK IM LEAVING YOUR ROOM UNTIL IM SATISFIED YOUR WRONG!!!
A usual appointment lasts 5 minutes. I stayed and DIDNT MOVE for over an hour.
I told her how unprofessional and VERY CRUEL they were treating me this way,leaving me from Christmas to now with STILL nothing done to help me.I told her, whe i left the hospital in January, i was under the impression in the next 2 weeks i would be sorted.INstead, 12 appointments later and still no further on. I said IVE HAD ENOUGH AND WILL NOT MOVE UNTIL I AM TREATED AND PAIN FREE!! I told her ive tried ALL the meds that make me ill, they didnt work.Ive had physio, it didnt work,i relax my jaw, im still in pain, ive done the MRI....and freaked out lol. I could see they wanted me out....i did not budge. I even brought in my hand bag a pair of handcuffs (Long story how i have a pair lol) because i was not being told to go away good little girl one more time.I was going to handcuff myself to the reclining chair I was prepared!!
NOW SHE IS LISTENING TO ME!!!!
She now is talking to my face as a person and not a silly number. She now knows I AM IN PAIN! She now tells me there is a protocol all Doctors there have to stick too. I have done them all. She now tells me....without an MRI, as this picks up what she needs to look at,that a CT scan can not pick up....that without it id just be fobbed off and put on pain medication.
She goes on to say, she understands my fear of enclosed spaces and even went to see if a doctor will give me IV Sedation.They carnt and wont do it due to staff numbers and id need an anethatist there.
So I have to have the MRI done and soon.
Also, im having a dye put in me and an other x ray, plus i am now on Codeine Phosphate.
My appointment is this Friday for 45 minutes in the MRI Scanner and my bowels are getting very loose just writing this.I know i need it, but the fear is so bad....if i dont go through with it, ive no help.If i do go through the MRI i get help. I have 7 diazepam left and may take them all before i go and take my uncle with me in case im too drugged up. Im aloud 20mg.But i need them to work as i took 4mg and it didnt touch me.
If i can get through the scan i will then know if my disc has 'gone' in my jaw and she will tell me what the hello is causing all this pain in my face.
She did say im preparing you that if all comes back well....and its just jaw mucsles or TJM, i will just have pain meds,but at least i'll know for sure.
Fair enough i thought.Now she's heard me.
So thanks everyone.....THE BIG LION IS HERE!!!!! Just need ideas about me and this big machine for Friday.All suggestions very welcome and very needed.
(the essay writer)
I am still here,just been on new meds so unable to function like i used to.I will pop back,just know im thinking of you all and hoping you are keeping on keeping on.xxxxxxx
WAY TO GO GIRL!!!!!! wish you could come with me to my appointments x
I made it sound easier than it actually was and i was prepared to do anything as having lock jaw at Christmas to now is far too long for a human to be left by a so called caring service. Im at my wits end, did cry once, but i was so frustrated with so many appointments yet getting nowhere.
If i could come with you believe me i really would. Sending you my 'big lion status' it brings you luck and gets you tough Roooooaaaaaaarrrr!
I feel for you!!! I can't do the MRI's either!!! I had to be sedated. I didn't know they did it!!! When they did my legs they put me in upside down and my head was out!!! One time they where pushing me in and I was holding on. They thought the thing was stuck!!! I told them I couldn't do it. So they sedated me.
I have TMJ from grinding my teeth. I wear a bite grard when I sleep!!! It helps with the pain!!!
Oh Angel....I am so, so proud of you! You did it! I'll bet that felt so good. My heart was soaring with happiness as I read this. I was so afraid you were going to be sent away again with not a bit of understanding or help. WAY TO GO, AMANDA!!
I love that you spoke up when the first moments of panic started and got help from the nurse...and thankful she listened to you and acted. I can just picture you, in the exam room, butt planted on the seat, refusing to move until they dealt with you. You actually sat there for an hour, refusing to move? .......You Go Girl!!
Oh, and the handcuffs....I think you might have to start another thread, cuz I wanna hear the story how you happen to have a pair of those in your possession.
Honestly, I am so glad you talked and told the doctor exactly how you felt. And glad that she finally sat up and paid attention.
Now all we have to do is get you through the MRI Friday. And I know we can do it. I'll gather up all my tips and tricks and share some ideas soon as I can. I've gotta run and pick up kids from school right now. But I'll be back. I've had to go through some pretty scary, panicky tests in all my years, so I've got a few things up my sleeve that might help.
I'm truly happy to hear about a positive experience...because each one of those gives us the confidence to face another difficult challenge. Aren't you proud of yourself? You should be!!
GO AMANDA GO!!!
you gotta tell those docs how it is!!!!
I'm Not Crazy, I'm Just A Little Lupie!
Thanks so much everyone. I made a massive effort to try and get sedated, but they said it would mean a Doctor being present in the MR Centre which is a building on its own. The centre had already told me they can not sedate Adults only children. Oh actually i did ask why not Adults and she said a Doctor would have to be there.But hang on...now im thinking.A doctor would have to be there with a child.Mmmm may look into this tomorrow with my nurse.I smell a fob off here and didnt pick up on it.
Yes, i am proud, but that negative chatter in my head is saying....you know people pleasing stuff....but you know what...i dont care anymore.If they want to think im a looney let em.As long as i get sorted its worth it.
Thanks for all your thoughts and Lori for your strength which landed with a bang
Erm the handcuffs.. They are in a silver box with some chocolate body lotion. A friend bought it me for my birthday. Why...i dont know, but it doesnt taste like chocolate.Then i thought....oh.....i dont think you are meant to eat it.She is so naughty my friend.She even handcuffed me to a Table a couple of years ago in a posh restaurant .
Oh, Angel.....lmao here! Your words paint such a picture at times. You actually got handcuffed to a table in a restaurant?
So...handcuffs...chocolate....I guess you're a woman that's ready for anything in life!
Yes!! It was my 37th and a few people from work took me to an Italian, posh and quiet.The food was nice.The people were or looked upper class.Then there was me, handcuffed to the table with them all looking over.I was so embarrassed.They hid the key. I was not easy to miss being on the best table surrounded by the rest of the customers.Great fun though, when i managed to pick the lock.Im so talented....cheerleading on Ashleys profile, Smoke signals, BIG LION Keeps my mind occupied. Oh and i used to kick box a little n white water raft! Not now though...getting out of beds enough now im 39 lol.
Handcuffs, chocolate, You Have a very exciting life!!!