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Thread: My Heart is Broken

  1. #1
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    Default My Heart is Broken

    My dearest friend of 22 years just told me she and her nine year old daughter (who calls me her "second" mom) are going to move to Texas (from Cali) to be closer to her brother and his family. We've seen each other through everything--marriage, births of children, graduations, divorce and everything mixed in. It's so selfish of me to wish that she would stay here because I'll be lost without her, but I understand why she's compelled to go.

    How can I not blubber constantly over this and remain supportive?

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    Default hi

    Oh i feel your pain!

    I know it will be hard and so upsetting when she goes, but there are many things you can do to still feel close.I know its not going to be the same as in person but here are some things to think about:-

    1) Down load a thing called Skype. Its free and easy to download.Buy a cheap mic and cam for your computer. Then you can see each other and talk in real time like a telephone, except you can see them. Arrange a set time each day or week to catch up with each other.Soon, you will accept she is gone, but feel like she has'nt because you can see and speak to her still.

    2) Put a bit of money away each month, so in time, maybe when she is settled, you can go and visit.How fab that reunion will be!

    3) Send text messages on the phone.

    4) Send funny cards with messages in it.

    I know i am probably not helping much now, as you will feel so sad.But i hope in some way it makes you think.So many solutions to this.You are not alone and i think your friend will be feeling the same you know.

    Gentle hugs
    Angel.xxxxx
    I am still here,just been on new meds so unable to function like i used to.I will pop back,just know im thinking of you all and hoping you are keeping on keeping on.xxxxxxx

  3. #3
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    Default

    My dearest friends moved away from here to California about 4 years ago. There were tears all around, but they had to go because of jobs.

    We keep in touch by phone - about once a week, sometimes more. We e-mail. They each blog (they're computer people) and have a blog about their almost 2 year old daughter which is filled with pictures. And one of them "Twitters" - so I keep up there as well.

    Its been a few years. I still miss them terribly, and feel for you, BonusMom, because I know how hard it is to lose a heart-friend. But we are still very close friends, I've been so happy that we could maintain that bond over the miles.
    ~"I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe." (Dalai Lama)

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    Gentle Hugs to you, Bonusmom. I'm sorry.

    Twenty-two years, that's a very long relationship...and so many memories. When you've known someone that long and been through all the ups and downs of each other's lives...every milestone...you really become intertwined with them and your heart comes to rely on their understanding and comfort, as well as their close companionship. There is nothing quite like a person that loves you for who you are, and stands by you through everything in life. That is a rare find! I'm glad that you have somebody like that in your life...not everyone does.

    I'm sorry your heart is broken, today....that you're sadness is overflowing. Wish there was a way to fix it for you...

    Just know that we'll all be here to lift you up when you're down, to encourage you when you're feeling the emptiness of her absence, and to let you share your feelings, any feelings, as you go through this difficult time.

    We're here....lean on us.

    Fondly,

    Lori

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    hi bonusmom,

    i am so sorry to hear about your friend moving. even though she will not be close in proximity, she will always occupy a part of your heart, and she will be your lifetime friend....your friendship will change, but i am sure that it will not deminish one bit. thank goodness for modern communication tools, you guys will learn all of the new ways to stay in touch.

    i know thing will be so different for you, and this is a time when you need the support of others. use us to vent your sadness, and enjoy every minute you have with your friend.
    Phyllis

    share a smile today

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    Hey Phyllis,

    I am so sorry that has happened...I have had a similar thing except I was the one who moved away thought not out of state...I feel lonely at times without my support network...computer and phone are better than nothing...so where in Texas are they moving?
    I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep.......Robert Frost

  7. #7
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    Thank you ladies for your understanding and words of encouragement. M will be moving to the Dallas area within the month.

    I've never been to Texas so this will be an opportunity for me to see something other than the beautiful Sierra Mountains

    Thanks for info on the web cam and such, Angel. I'll definitely look in to it!

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    Angel, you are so smart, I would never have thought of Skype. It may not be the same as having her physically near you, but it is something.

  9. #9
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    I have a cute little Skype story, can I share it here to cheer you up?

    Last week, I was borrowing my son's computer and posting on the forum while he was at school. In the middle of my post, a diaglogue box pops up and says you're getting a call from 'Bruce' (my husband) on Skype. I'd only briefly heard the name Skype, so wasn't sure what it was. So I decided to 'Accept' his call....clicked the button...and I was thinking, "how am I going to talk to him...where's the microphone?" Right then, I could hear my husband's voice very, very tiny, far far away....saying, "hello, are you there?" So I yelled back at him. He asked me why I sounded so far away...and not clear. So I yelled back at him, that he sounded far away too. Then he said, "Are you wearing the headset?" I felt like such an idiot, so I picked up my son's gaming headset, earphones with the microphone, and put it on. Then I could hear my husband perfectly, loud and clear......but he said I still sounded far away, could barely hear me. So this went on for a few minutes, with us trying to figure out what's going on. My husband was thinking it was something on his end. All of a sudden, I realized I had the headset on backwards and the mouthpiece was behind my head. I felt like such a frikkin', technologically-challenged idiot.

    I sheepishly turned the headset around, and my husband could hear me perfectly. You should have heard my husband laughing on the other end of the computer phone.

    So I thought I don't need this abuse....and hung up on him! Sheesh...I was just sitting there having fun posting on my forum, and he has to come along and push technology on me. What nerve!
    ____________________

    Bonusmom, I know this is way off topic for your post here, but when Angel mentioned Skype, it reminded me of my first experience with it.



    Hope you can have some really fun times with your best friend before she has to go.

    Fondly,

    Lori

    p.s. My husband and I had a good laugh when he got home that night.

  10. #10
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    LOL Lori! i loved your story! You always have the cutest "husband stories". How sweet and funny! You always cheer me up evevn if i feel ooky! No, even if i feel PUKYLOOK, Ifound one to match! LOL You make me feel better,thank you, this illness is tough and i needed to meet you and the others to help me through some rough times. It means a lot. Im sending you some flowers
    We Live in a MORTAL, FRAIL, IMPERFECT world in which the word "FAIR" doesn't always apply.Make EVERY MOMENT COUNT with the ones you LOVE because it can end in the blink of an eye. Love, Jeannette

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