Ayah - oh Great Laundry Queen - I bow before you and beg forgiveness!!!!
I must clarify why the pile on my bed was so large - hubby has been building us a wall & a closet for our bedroom. I have had nowhere to hang my clothes so I have had huge piles in my room on top of everything! Yesterday I decided to sort through and see what was what, so of course I ended up w/ many large piles on the bed. I couldn't imagine if I had actually washed all of it, not that it wasn't clean, but it's been building up for a while!
Now that I have laughed so hard my chest hurts......I will go rest for a while.
Lauren - I am new to this forum site but am loving the support and vibe from all. I see you are in NJ, as I am. I am very happy with my Rheumy, and I have gone through about 4 over the past 20 years. Email me if you are interested in contacting him, it is in Northern NJ and he works out of Hackensack Hospital. He treats me for Rheumatoid Arthritis and "borderline" not yet given the official diagnosis lupus and my mother for diagnosed Lupus.
Funny Story - I had a horrible, major flare two weeks before my wedding in 2005. I had been having a healthy year or so and besides some joint and inflamation issues, I was good. I woke up one day and my eyes had stopped being able to produce tears, i had TMJ and swelling everywhere (internal, joint, ect). At that time my Rheumy was out of town on vacation and my primary DR had recently passed awaay. I saw another Dr in my old primary's place and of course it was all oh you must be stressed and anxious about your wedding. The Dr tried for 30 minutes to get me to agree to take xanax or some other crap and by the end of it two things happened, 1) I appeared to her to look more and more like I was anxious and "crazy" 2) by the time i was done arguing i was so stressed that i just caved and took the antidepressant until i could get to my Rheumy two days later... Point being... we are not depressed or if we are it is a secondary to the disease(s) and also i too like you were in my happiest time and i am so not a bridezilla, very low key affair and all....
Right now my biggest emotional issue is feeling like a broken record saying "i don't feel so well" to my husband and friends... I hate being sick and tired but i hate having to alter my life to accomodate this disease even more, it sucks. I wish you the best and please know that it isn't you its them
What you feel is real!
I understand how you feel. It is so important to have doctors that listen to you. With Lupus and other autoimmune diseases it is so hard to find answers, because you have so many different symptoms that mimic other things. I feel like when they are unable to find out what is wrong they blame it on depression or stress. Your symptoms are real and you deserve to have someone who will listen and will try to help you.