Men often say things that are just completely hurtful without thinking. I too married one of those!! He seems to think that lupus is something that I can just "shake" off. I have recieved some great advice from the ladies here and that was that men think that they have to take care of us, so when they feel that they are helpless they act out. It really does sound to me like he thought that would be the best way to help you physically, but because he was thinking logically like men do he didnt stop and think that it would not be the best thing for you emotionally. I hope that things work out for you!
A good friend will help you move, a GREAT friend will help you move a body . . . Let me know if I need to bring a shovel!!!