I'm a 46 year old mom to 12 and grandmom to 3. I went to the doctor for arthritis, (my parents have arthritis.).....tests show proboably lupus. After looking at the lupus checklist,I have or have had in the past several years many or most of the other symptoms besides joint pain. I didn't even tell the doctor about those symptoms! I was told to come back in for more tests....I can't be sick!! I have nine adopted children ages 5-19 in the home that really need me and my energy. I also know that everyone will blame the illness on my commitments and work load with these children. I don't want the children or my husband to know. Is it possible to keep this illness a secret? I have felt really lousey the last few months....flu like,achy,muscle spasms, headaches and just totally wiped out...I'm not one to tell others my aches and pains. Not even my husband knows how I've felt. I need to keep going regardess of how I feel. I do need someone to talk to though that doesn't know me and knows about this illness.