Heared somthing weird a few days ago and don't know whether to jump for joy or be angry, just heared my consultant is publishing a medical paper which has my name stamped all over it, aparantly im a somwhat unique lupus case in that the organs damaged by the lupus (namely my kidneys) actually regenerated themselfs of there own accord and they are looking for a gene in my system that fights the lupus, good news you might think but the fact i heared this information second hand off a friend of a family member makes me real angry as i have not been told or consulted on this at all, i relised my consultant was keeping somthing form me the last time i saw him and now i know what, i feel like a guinipig that has been kept in the dark and never relised he was a guinipig, i feel like im here suffering and my consultant is furthering his career at my expense, now if this research can help all you out there that suffer as i do then im glad, but to have it kept secret from me. I would at least like some input into this process, also i know that he knows that i use canbis to ease my syptoms, well i have a suspicion he thinks this is accidental but i know for a fact i can ease my syptoms by using a minmal amount , and have been experimenting with dosage so i can function normally without getting too stoned that i cant function, if MY research and experimentation in trying to live as normal a life as i can manage will help then so be it, but i have a sneaky susppicion that my consultant is going to say i did it by accident and take all the credit for noticing this(the secrecy around this whole thing makes me beleive this). ARRRGGGG what am i gonna do. Sorry about the rant.

P.S. I do not condone ANYONE to use illigal drugs and do this at my own risk, after all i cant just sit back and do nothing to eliviate these madening symptoms.