I understand how you feel. I'm here every day to keep an eye on things as a moderator, but I don't post every day. Sometimes, I can't find the words, other days, I find them, but don't know how to put them together so they make sense. Other days, I'm just angry, bitter. I get so tired of talking about how crappy I feel. I spend the majority of my time alone. I get into my own head too, and sometimes what I find isn't very nice.
Nobody here will fault you for laying low, or not having the words. I don't have much Christmas spirit either. I miss the days of carrying around the Sears X-mas catalog around like it was the Bible. Getting up to a roaring fire that my Dad would make. Lionel trains around the tree. BB guns (no, I didn't shoot my eye out). Just the feeling of life being so simple, and fun found in the simplest of things. My parents always wrapped the gifts from "Santa" in the funny papers. There would be these huge packages all around wrapped in Santa's signature wrappings, and my sisters and I knew there was nothing but good stuff to come. I could never sleep on Christmas eve, too excited.
Here I go getting sentimental. Don't worry if you need a break from here, we all get that way sometimes. Just know you are always welcome. It's good to hear from you.