Hi all,

My name is Sandra and i'm from Holland.

Have been sick for nearly 2 years now, but they finally found what it is.. Lupus. Sle.

Not so strange.. considering my grandma, aunt and mother have Lupus. I finished my school which i am very proud of! There were days that i felt so bad.. but i just had to get my butt to school. I'm glad i did because now i don't have to worry about school anymore!

Anyways.. I'm fairly new to all this and i think i haven't realised it all yet :roll: Even though my family has Lupus (the aunt extremely) we don't talk about it in our home. It gets wiped of the table... I sometimes feel the need to expres my feelings and to ask questions. I'm pretty sad sometimes that i can't just ask them. My mom will just say she doesn't know. Everyone even tells me i don't have lupus, just because they don't want me to have lupus. The tests show it.. so it must be it!

I have a boyfriend who is actually my everything. We're together for 4 years and we are trying to get a house and live together! He supports me where he can, but i notice he doesn't always know how to react or what to do when i'm in pain or when i need to talk. I try to 'whine' as less as possible. but then again i want him to know what is happening with my body! I don't have friends, which sometimes bothers me lately...

My main issue at the moment is that i don't know what the future will bring. I had so many dreams and goals which i will probably never make... It's sad that i am forced to turn my future upsidedown.

I'm afraid to get medicine... but the doctors say i need it (in about 2 weeks i'll get them) I fear getting pumped with all sorts of drugs and getting all ugly and sick(er)...

Anyways.. If anyone has a question, feel free to ask.
I'm glad i joined and i hope i'll be able to expres my feelings and perhaps make some friends!