Hello and Welcome Lindsey :lol:
I am sorry to hear that your illness is causing problems in your marriage. It is very important for our loved-ones to be educated about our disease so that they can understand how it affects us. It is equally important that we, ourselves, be educated about Lupus, its medications, its treatments, is co-existing diseases (such as Raynaud's, Fibromyalgia, Sjorgen's, and recently happening more often, MS, and others).
There are some very good books that you and your husband can read. The quintessential Lupus book is: "The Lupus Book: A guide for patients and their families", by Daniel J. Wallace.
Also, there is a web site known as "butyoudon'tlooksick.com". On that web site is an article known as "The Spoon Theory". It is a very clever, but effective, way of explaining how we feel, day-to-day, with Lupus! You might want to print it up and let your husband read it.
You mentioned that you take 12 pills/day to manage your symptoms; Sweetie...I take 18 pills/day and there are some members here who take 20 or more! It is a part of the process that we deal with. I know it gets to be a daunting task to have to down all of those pills, every day, each day, no matter what! but we MUST do it.
I keep a small pill dispenser in my purse so that, in the event an unplanned activity comes up, I always have 2 days worth of my medication with me at all times (yes, that means that I carry 36 pills with me all of the time!). If I have to take some of the medication, I always re-fill my dispenser! You might try this so that you don't have to always run home to get you medicine! That, alone, might free up some of the stress that I hear in your post. You have to know that stress is our worst enemy - it can do irreversible harm, up to and including causing our symptoms to be so severe that we must be hospitalized! You do not want that! So, please, try to do what you can to lessen and/or eliminate your stress.
This community here is a family and everyone here is more than willing to provide you with advice, support, understanding, and comfort. We are all glad that you are here :lol:
Peace and Blessings