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Thread: You Look So Good

  1. #1
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    Default You Look So Good

    Are you told you look so good, when you feel so awful and every muscle and fiber of your body aches and pains?

    At least they can't say that to me anymore because my complexion and skin look like crap. Besides, I am so tired of hearing the above!

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    oh my gosh yes. and i feel like im screaming inside. Or they say you look ok, r u sure you feel that bad. i guess people have a hard time believing if they cant see. Thats y i love you all, u know and you dont judge!! thank you!!

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    Hi,
    I hear where you are coming from. I think all of us have heard that far to many times. When I first got diagnosed, I told one of my sister-in-laws that I was diagnosed with Lupus and she flat out called me a liar. It was upsetting to say the least. She said this, because she had a friend with Lupus and I did not look like her friend. I just told her that the doctor diagnosed the lupus and that if she did not want to believe me that she could believe what ever she wanted to believe. She called my husband and asked him if it was all true and he told her yes. She tried to say that I looked to well to have Lupus. It is sad when people say that you look so good when you feel so bad. I guess this is just the way this illness is.

    Hugs,
    Kathy
    Lupus for many years. Like most of my life. Sjogrens that started at 35 and Scoliosis, Spinal Stenosis, Degenerative Disc Disease, Osteo-Arthritis of the spine, Ankylosing Spondilitis, Periferal Neuropathy, mild CP and now just recently diagnosed with PA. I had a disc replaced in December of 2007.

    Medications:
    Plaquenil, Sulindac, Imuran, Celiac diet, Tramadol and B12 shot once a month.

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    Saysusie's Avatar
    Saysusie is offline Super Moderator Super ModeratorEmperor of the Universe
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    To show you how common it is, there is a website entitled butyoudon'tlooksick.com

    Peace and Blessings
    Saysusie
    Look For The Good and Praise It!

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    rob is offline Super Moderator Super ModeratorEmperor of the World
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    I hear this alot myself. I don't look my age, so much so that I still get carded whenever I buy a drink, and I'm 40. And due to genes, or physical build, or whatever, I look like a guy who works out and is in decent shape. I'm not. I never thought looking somewhat fit, and healthy, would work against me. I've heard "but you don't look sick" more times than I care to remember. I've gotten to the point where those words don't register with me anymore. In one ear, and out the other. I used to get so angry, if people only knew what was going on inside, they wouldn't keep saying that. Getting angry certainly didn't help me, so I do my best to ignore people.

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    As Saysusie said, (hmm...try saying THAT 3 times fast! :lol: )

    butyoudontlooksick.com is wonderful - they have the "spoon theory" there that helps explain to people how you really DO feel. My staff knows that on days I wear a spoon pin I'm low on spoons. And they try not to drive me nuts with issues.

    I've just given up trying to explain - when someone says "you look great!" I just say "thanks, I appreciate the compliment!" With a close friend or family, I can add that I really do not feel that way if I'm having a bad day, and they'll understand. If they're not someone close, I just let it pass -
    ~"I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe." (Dalai Lama)

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    Hi all,
    I joined that website that you mentioned too. It is a good site too. I just ignore people when they tell me that I don't look like I have any illness. I just say whatever and let it go at that. I don't waste my time on them.

    Hugs,
    Kathy
    Lupus for many years. Like most of my life. Sjogrens that started at 35 and Scoliosis, Spinal Stenosis, Degenerative Disc Disease, Osteo-Arthritis of the spine, Ankylosing Spondilitis, Periferal Neuropathy, mild CP and now just recently diagnosed with PA. I had a disc replaced in December of 2007.

    Medications:
    Plaquenil, Sulindac, Imuran, Celiac diet, Tramadol and B12 shot once a month.

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    You know I have to say something here... most people don't mean anything negative when they say you look so good. It is impossible for them to understand Lupus when we do look well on the outside. How can we possibly expect them to really understand since they don't have it. I think we should be understanding and patient with them. If we ourselves didn't have this disease would we really, really 'get it'? Sorry but I don't think so. I don't know what it's like to lose a child because I've never lost one, I don't know what it's like to have cancer because I've never had it. And I hope no one expects me to just like I don't expect therm to understand what it's like to have Lupus. I have Lupus and it's my thing to deal with not other people's. If they think I look good I tell them thank you because I appreciate the positive comment. If they want to call me a liar then fine because even if I didn't have this disease they would be rude anyway about something else. Not my problem.
    For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans for good and not evil to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

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    rob is offline Super Moderator Super ModeratorEmperor of the World
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    Being told "you look so good" doesn't bother me a bit, and it is indeed a compliment, and a very positive thing to hear. When people say "but you don't look sick" when they know full well that I am, is what bothers me.

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    Rob -
    I completely agree and was just about to post the same thing....I love when people say, "You look good" because there are definately days where the same people look at me and say, "How are you feeling?" - with that look on their face like "Holy cow!" which I KNOW indicates I look pretty bad...lol..But even that doesnt bother me - the majority of people in my life are really good - I cant complain.
    But, anyone can tell me I look good anytime! Especially now - my face is ENORMOUS with the prednisone!!
    Lauri
    For God has not given us a spirit of fear; but of power, love and a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

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