Oh Jody - that is horrible...I know that tight band feeling. I compare it to like an air bubble in my head that feels like its going to pop! Maybe your lupus is inflamming the blood vessels in your head and thats why its more relentless than your usual headaches.
I have heard of a headache powder - over the counter - I forget the name!! But its literally powder and you dissolve it in water. Ive heard ALOT of people rave about it...I think its straight asprin...
I use Sudafed for the sinus pressure - it works wonders!!! Because it has pseudoephedrine in it, you have to get it from the clerk behind the counter, but you should really try it. I use that and Excedrin (which is like your coffee remedy, it has caffeine right in it) intermittently throughout the day, and it works for me. Some days, I just have to lay on my side in my bed and usually I pass out. When I wake, its gone mostly.
Hope this helps!! Take care..
For God has not given us a spirit of fear; but of power, love and a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7