I was diagnosed the end of June 04 after only 6 months of a thought of being diagnosed with Carpel tunnel (February 04). Funny thing is when I went to the neurologist I didn't have carpel tunnel. Kidney failure and almost death brought the diagnosis. I didn't have any of the other symptoms of Lupus and am very lucky. Although right now I am on heavy steriods and cytoxan every 3 to 4 weeks. Gone through three treatments so far, hair is falling out, gained weight, my face looks like someone have filled it with helium and I feel pretty ugly right now.

Again, I do feel lucky, I have a great bunch of doctors, my joints don't hurt and my kidneys after the biopsy shows no damage. Never being sick before, it just feels like an inconvience and I am tired of the novelty of being sick. I do wish I could put it all behind me and go forward. I think I am more afraid of the unknown and what will or might happen. Its that lack of control and not being able to see this monster, feel this monster and then get rid of it.

Thanks for listening.