I am sorry to hear about the issues that you are having to deal with right now. It is always difficult to be in the "Diagnosis Limbo", without answers, without treatment, and with fear of the unknown. Hopefully, when you see the rheumatologist, you will, at the very least, get some treatment to help ease your symptoms.
My heart goes out to you and the issue of the sibling who will be born soon. There are many mothers in this family who can offer you support, advise and ideas that might help you. I only hope that things work out in a way that is best for you, your health and your family.
It sounds as if it might be time to start educating your husband about Lupus, its symptoms, its medications (and their side-effects) and its treatments. If he is upset because you cannot game with him, then it certainly sounds like he doesn't really understand Lupus. Even though you do not have a formal diagnosis, it is still a good idea to learn about Lupus (as many other auto-immune disorders have similar symptoms as Lupus), both for you and your husband.
There are several good books that I recommend to everyone. They are:
* THE LUPUS BOOK, A GUIDE FOR PATIENTS AND THEIR FAMILIES; By Daniel J. Wallace
* LIVING WITH LUPUS; By Mary M.D. Horowitz
* LUPUS, EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW; By Robert G. Lahita, Robert H. Phillips
Hopefully, these books will help you and your husband to understand this disease and will give him a better understanding of what you are going through.
Please let us know how your rheumy app't goes!
Peace and Blessings
Look For The Good and Praise It!