Hi, Lauri. Your story is an interesting one, and much of it sounds soooo familar.....so many here have similar stories. (Mine...a bit different.) Diagnosis seems to be one of the hardest aspects of any autoimmune disorder. Symptoms are so varied; they come and go; they are common to many diseases! Your PCP is right, of course...postive ANA is not necessary for a diagnosis of lupus. It's generally thought that only a small percentage of lupus patients have a negative ANA...but, it is definitely possible.
I'm glad your husband is going with you to your next appointment. Having a supportive person there to help to tell the story is always good. I find if hard to talk about my symptoms sometimes - I always take a written sheet to make it easier.
If you haven't already done so, it's a good idea to start tracking your symptoms. I'm not as good about that as I used to be, but I was religious about it at first and I think it helped my doctors understand what was happening to me.
Please keep us posted on how you're doing, and welcome to the 'family!'
"If you trust Google more than you trust your doctor than maybe it's time to switch doctors."