And a very Happy Mother's Day to you Too!!! And also to all Mums out there!
I was sent this lovely ad for a job....
Long term team players needed for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organisational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24
hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in faraway cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
Must provide on-the-site training in basic life skills, such as nose blowing.
Must have strong skills in negotiating, conflict resolution and crisis management. Ability to suture flesh wounds a plus. Must be able to think out of the box but not lose track of the box, because you
most likely need it for a school project. Must reconcile petty cash unless you want to hear “he got more than me!” for the rest of your life. Also, must be able to drive motor vehicles safely under loud and adverse conditions while simultaneously practicing abovementioned skills in conflict
resolution. Must be able to choose your battles and stick to your guns. Must be able to withstand criticism, such as “You don’t know anything”. Must be willing to be hated at least temporarily.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical
challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and co-ordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organise social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys and battery operated devices. Also, must have a highly energetic entrepreneurial spirit, because fundraiser will be your middle name.
Must have a diverse knowledge base, so as to answer questions such as “What makes the windmove?” on the fly. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.
None required, unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
You pay them, offering frequent raises and bonuses. When you
die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you
actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
Have a Lovely Day
All the best