And welcome to the board...my mother died not ever knowing what was wrong with her. He doctor never even believed her. He just wrote her off as lonely and pestering him.
When she died we demanded an autopsy. I gave that to my family doctor who also treats my sister. That's how we found out what happened to mom.
My sister tested possitive. I tested negative. Then like you some weird stuff started to happen.
I've had one possitive ANA test and one boarderline and two negative. It's a waiting game to get the proper readings.
Good luck with your blood work. What sorts of things have been showing?
Editing to say, I recently found out that my mother did know that she had lupus, I'm not sure why I was never told, but it is what it is.