Okay...let me start with my mother. Who had lupus raised 4 children, worked part time, cleaned the house, did the laundry and prepared the meals. NO ONE took care of her.
I work full time, clean the house, cook the meals, do the laundry and NO ONE takes care of me.
Certainly there is alot of pain and there are days you have to lay low. And some flares are worse than others. I do not miss any more time at work than anybody else does.
Your boyfriend is helpful and supportive; that's wonderful. He must have gotten those caring traites from somewhere
Lupus is managable.
K having said that.
The longer you let this bubble build between you and your boyfriends mother the harder it will be to tell her. So fess up.
Have you discussed this with your boyfriend....you must have because obviously he's not said anything to his mom either. Tell him you think it's time for his family to know.
It's part of you life, you cant deny it. And you really dont need the stress of trying to hide it. So let it out and be done with it.
If her son was ill she'd want you to care for him, right? Well the shoe is on the other foot. Some day you may very well need to care for your fella and help him through a rough patch now and then. That's called being a couple and that's life. I help you ... you help me...we work as a team.
Clear the cobwebs out of your closet and tell her. If she asks why you didn't say before, tell her why. "I didn't want to upset you after you said you didn't want your sons to have to take care of a sick person." "By the way, I may need to lean on him from time to time, but that's what couples do, they lean on each other when needed."
You can say it gentley, but say it. You dont need to appologize to anyone because you have lupus. Guess what, most people have "something".
Very few people are so healthy it's sickening.
Hope this helps, it's said with kindess...you cant keep covering up...let it out. Holding stuff in is not good for us lupus folks, you have to deal with stuff and let it go. Stress brings on flares