I have been where you are. Only I have had a husband the whole time, he has NEVER been any sort support. Even after getting out of hospital the first day he would be back at his 14 hour a day job. I cried. Alot during those days. I am feeling for you and think good thoughts for you. Right now EVERYTHING seems to hard to bare right now, but I swear at some point it will get better. Kids and lupus are hard to do. I know that feeling to. I do it with 5 kids myself. :!: Kids when you are healthy is insane amounts of work. Add lupus to anything and it adds ten fold. I don't know much about where you live and what supports you may get. There must be a something. Just thinking out loud here. But, would it be possible to rent your house out while you get better and go live at home for a short while. Once some of the stress is relieved you may find you come out of your flare in just a short time. Or it could take a long while. Either way the more support you can find in the meantime the better. Doing this by yourself just may further agravate your disease. Stress is the main cause of flares for me :cry: Once you pull through this you will be amazed at how well you made it through and how happy you are that it's behind you. I wish you the very best. BIG HUGGS!~ Feel Better ~Lucy