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Thread: I just need to vent.

  1. #1
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    Default I just need to vent.

    I need to go and pick up some meds at my doctors office today, because my insurance is making my doctors go through preauthorization for them, so my kind doctor is giving me samples until the auth. goes through. But heres the thing: i'm exaughsted. completely drained. i asked my boyfriend if he could pick them up, but he is in the complete opposite direction and is working at one of the two jobs he's holding to support us cause i can't work. i asked my mom but she is not coming into town until monday... so i have to go. I just showered at it took all the energy i had. I just want to collapse back into bed and sleep, but i NEED these meds, because i can tell within about two days when i have gone off of them and the side effects are horrendous. I had a little breakdown last night because i'm so tired and i just want to clean my gosh darned house, but i'm too tired. I know there are people out there who have it a lot worse, but i just need to vent and get all of my frustrations off my chest to people who will know what i'm talking about.
    So anywho, i'm 23 and i feel like i'm 93... i guess i'll get going to the doctors office. lets hope i can make it there and back.

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    Default

    Am so sorry you're feeling so exhausted and down today, but I know how you feel. I can't drive so have the same problem if I run out of bread or juice or something simple. If nobody can help me I have to walk down to the shops and back with the worry that I might not make it back up the road again.
    I've started using a walking stick this week and people look at me as though I'm 100 instead of 30. My boss even had the cheek to ask me what I'd done to my leg today ~mind boggles~ after me telling him just last week what was perhaps wrong with me. And to think that I'm the one that's supposed to have brain fog! He's lucky I didn't use the stick as a weapon!

    Check back in here when you get back from the doctors so that we know you're alright! Will be thinking about you!

    ~leaves a bundle of hugs from across the pond~

    Claire
    x
    Numpty:- (num-p-tee) dialect, chiefly Scot, ~n. 1. a bumbling fool: one who is intellectually challenged. 2. widely known in Scotland as an MSP (Member of Scottish Parliament).

  3. #3
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    Default i did it!

    i made it there and back, as well as the bank! woooo!!!! i got home, rested for about 8 hours (while my boyfriend took a nap between his day job and night job, i'm so lucky to have him) and then cleaned the bathroom. i told my boyfriend i felt like superwoman, haha. one blessing of this disease is that i have learned to appreciate the little things that i accomplish. i think i will never neglect the feeling i get after i complete a full day of errands or one thing like cleaning the bathroom.
    on other fronts, my boyfriend got a raise today, and we have been struggling finacially for a while since i stopped working, and it was a pretty sufficient raise, so we wont have to stress as much about money. mind you, there will still be stress, but not as much, which is GREAT. Thanks for all the kind thoughts and words of empowerment, i'm beginning to love this site more and more!

  4. #4
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    Default Fatigue

    Lilbitt113,
    So pleased to hear you made it through this latest trial. People who don't have chronic disease wouldn't "get" how much of a struggle that was for you, but the people here really feel for you. Plus all of the prayers are a super bonus! At least you know spiritually you have many with you
    Big blessings to that wonderful man of yours who works so hard to take care of you. And congratulations on the raise. Financial worries don't help. I look forward to hearing how you are doing.

    Susan

  5. #5
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    Hey lilbitt,

    I completely and undeniably feel your frustration, pain, anxiety and want you to know that I am very proud of you for reaching out and sharing your heart. It's not always easy to do and it feels like your risking so much, but I have found this to be a very caring, nurturing site and the folks here are wonderful!

    When I have been at my worst and the house looked like a cyclone, tornado and hurricane hit it...I finally sat on the couch one night and got on the phone and called my best friend...and I asked her if she would still love me after she saw my house and would she please come over and help me get to a "clean" starting point. I'm embarrassed to say, it took two full days to get things to a starting point....it made such a difference for me, for our relationship - I've always been very strong and independent and never asked anyone for help. Well, lupus has bestowed upon me the gift of asking for help. My friends call now and will ask if they can stop by the store on their way home, or on a saturday run errands with me. I would like to encourage to ask family and friends to help out. I know it may feel uncomfortable at first, but you will be surprised how many people love having the opportunity to help.

    I hope you're feeling better today. We love you and hope you'll stay with us for a long time.

    Much love,
    Browneyedgirl
    "I believe that friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly." - unknown

  6. #6
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    I am glad that you were able to get some things done today lillbitt. For me just getting in the car and driving myself up the street to the store felt like scaling Mt Everest, but I did it!

    Browneyedgirl, I really wish that I had friends like you do. I do not have anyone that I could call to help me with the house or anything else. This forum is like a lifeline for me. Sometimes I feel very alone.

    I hope that you all have a great weekend.

    Karen

  7. #7
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    Atta Girl....Lillbitt...

    If they had a drive thru, I would have draped a coat over my PJs, donned a baseball cap, brushed my teeth. Being in pain has taught me good things, like shortcuts and to put my modesty in a brown paper bag.

    Be safe while driving...if you live near I will pick it up for you. I am in Summerville, SC.

    Sick n tired....
    When you feel lonely or not, I will be an email buddy if you would like. Do you attend a church? If not I am sure that is alright to ask a local church for help. Giving isn't just for those who attend, it is for our brothers and sisters in need. They have volunteer groups that assist the helpless, homebound..like meals on wheels, caserole brigade, yard work, house work and etc. Check it out. If you don't know where to start send me your location, prefered denomination if you have one...and I will research it for you, if you like.

    If near Summerville, SC I will come help you too.

    Enjoy this day of rest. God loves you and so do we.
    Oluwa

  8. #8
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    Doh, I just read you are both out west..ugh.

    Love,
    Oluwa

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    Hugs to all of you!

    I learned early on that I could no longer be "superwoman" and keep house, garden, shovel the walks in winter, cook home made meals and hold down a job. So I decided what had to go.

    I hired someone to come in and clean every other week. Found a wonderful woman who is not with a service and who is very reasonable. Lillbit, sounds like you're not quite ready for that financially, but keep it in mind.

    I also said "I'm over 40, I don't shovel snow." You Southern types don't have to worry about THAT chore!

    I still garden in the summer. Have someone help me wake the beds up - cleaning out the leaves and detrius from the year before. After that, I enjoy. And if there are weeds, I pull them if I'm able. If not...well, weeds often have pretty flowers too.

    Hugs to all of you - I am so glad we can join together on this board, and support each other. Oluwa, how fun it would be for all of us to meet and be able to help each other with errands, hugs and those little things that go so much easier with a friend! We'll have to continue to do that via the mysteries of cyberspace...

    As you've learned, life at a slower pace has its frustrations. It also has its rewards. I sit here today looking at sun on snow, a squirrel and some birds at the feeder. I'm sending you what strength I can, and hopes for a today and tomorrow with less pain, more energy.
    ~"I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe." (Dalai Lama)

  10. #10
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    Hatlady,

    That would be fun, misery loves company. Misery shared to me brings about laughter, giggles...and get us thinking... ah it ain't so bad. Keep one another afloat with optimism and not waddle in our thoughts.

    With IT being such a revolving door, struggling to make it stop so we can exit to enjoy life instead of going around and around, click, click pass each moment to jump out... looking at life through the glass doors, indeed it would be lovely for another to stop in and know just what we need.

    Scattered about the world. No one near me with IT I have found...how about you?

    Right now I am trying to exit this buildings revolving door...ugh.
    Oluwa

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