well I am Autumn going completely crazy I feel for the past 9 years I have been tested from God and maybe I am not giving him what he wants because I am still sick I was in remmssion from 2001-2005 which were wonderful years but then while I was breastfeeding my 2nd baby I got sick again I have been through chemo, lupus study in kansas city for retuximab, I have all the rare things that happen to people and it really freaks me out when my doc says wow I have heard of the things your describing but never encountered them in a patient. thats not terrifying! well anyways lupus has revavged my kidneys and my life really and I am on dialysis they failed july 30 2007 and I got an emergency permacatheter put in so they coul quickly start dialysis and I lost 25 pounds in 2 days! I still have about 30 more left but it will happen so enough, I think I am gonna look around on the forum I just wanted to talk to other people who understand what I am going thru!