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Thread: New to the forum, Father just Diagnosed

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
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    Default New to the forum, Father just Diagnosed

    Hello all,
    Obviously, this is my first time here and I wish it was on different terms.

    I guess first my name is Drew, I am 20, and I go to Columbia College in Columbia, MO. I am a "fish nut" and I sell tropical fish online. So hello and I look forward to meeting all of you.

    My dad recently came to visit me "just because." When he came yesterday he told me he had recently been diagnosed with lupus.

    I am not sure as to what type (Im assuming there are diff kinds from what I have read) and not sure as to the details, this is all very overwhelming so I'm trying to learn as much as possible. He has had extensive testing and he told me all the scientific terms but my mind is so scattered right now I cant remeber the details. He also says it is a lot more rare in older males such as himself (hes 57). I will post what tests and type etc, when I have the chance to write it all down, maybe you guys can explain some of the stuff to me then.

    I'm pretty angry and upset right now about the whole thing, and for some reason I find myself blaming myself for him having this, I know it's not the case but I cant help but feel that way.

    I dont really know what else to say, I just need some support as I am away from all of my family at college, trying to learn all about this disease (I HATE what I have read about this, it scares me to death), seems like this forum is a good place to start.

    Thank for listening,


    Edit for spelling.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
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    Welcome Drew!

    I'm sorry to hear about your dad's diagnosis From your research already you know that lupus can take many forms, and range from very mild to very severe. That he's shared the information with you probably means many things - that he cares for you and wants you to understand what is going on with his health at this time (rather than hide it from you), that he knows you're able to understand he has a journey ahead - and he isn't sure where it will take him.

    You're at a wonderful college (I work in higher education) and I'd encourage you to seek out your counseling or health and wellness center - talk with one of the social workers or psychologists there for a while. This is a difficult thing for you to learn, having someone to talk with directly (in addition to our forum) may be helpful to you.

    A little about me - as I said, I work in higher education. I was diagnosed with lupus at about age 50 - about 5 years ago. I've been able to change my diet, adjust my exercise regimen, STAY OUT OF THE SUN, get enough rest and stay pretty healthy. My main symptoms are fatigue and pain - both at a manageable level.

    Sending a gentle hug to you - and your dad -

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Victorville, California
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    Hi Drew;
    You may come to us at any time to ask any questions that you may have. We will all do our very best to give you the information that you need so that you will be able to understand your dad's symptoms and how they affect him.
    There is no one to blame for Lupus, its cause is yet unknown and so most of us don't know why we are afflicted with it.
    Your willingness to understand Lupus will be one of your father's greatest assets in attempting to manage the disease and live a relatively normal lifestyle.
    When you learn what type of Lupus he has, what his medications are, what his test results are etc., please let us know and we will go over everything with you. We are here to help! You are not alone!
    Peace and Blessings
    Look For The Good and Praise It!

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