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Thread: New rash and new pain along with the old....Should I worry?

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    Default New rash and new pain along with the old....Should I worry?

    Hey, Haven't posted forever but hoping someone can help me. I have been diagnosed for over 13 years and have had all the usual rashes controlled with immune supressants. I have recently gone through a divorce and with 3 beautiful children and not being able to just walk away from their father my stress levels are through the roof. 3 of the last 5 days I have been in bed for major fatigue, pain all over and neuropathy from head to toe. I thought I was breaking out in hives again but they are different. They are limited as of now to my fore arms. I had hives years ago for 4 months straight but this is different. And if I had to compare them to something they seem to have the same characteristics as when my children had neonatal lupus and had the racoon face rash as the anti bodies left their little systems. I have had some pretty new major pain that is coming from inside that is hard to explain, but I just can't keep on top of the pain and fatigue. I know that stress is a huge enemy of mine but I don't know how to let go of the stress that my ex is causing. He puts the children in the middle I know as a punnishment to me but it is them who suffer and that I can't bare to see. I know their are others out there who have gone through this stress and I would so appreciate any advice they could give and would also love to hear if anyone has this type of rash and knows what it is, and if I should be overly worrysome about it. It is a new symptom and those I usually am more worried about. Thank you for your support in advance. Michelle

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    Shellygirl
    Yes, stress can play a major role in causing new symptoms as well as worsening of old symptoms and throwing us into a major flare. When my daughter was ill and shortly before she passed, my doctors realized that I was under tremendous stress and took aggressive action (with reference to medication, referring me to a therapist, giving me off-work orders etc.) to help to curtail the detrimental results of stress. I tell you this to say that it might be helpful for you to let your doctor know about the amount of stress that you are under, tell him about your new symptoms and the worsening of your old symptoms. If he is a doctor who understands the correlation between stress and Lupus flares, he should immediately start to make changes in your medications, prescribe new medications and even write you a referral for therapy/counseling to help you through this very trying time.
    During my therapy after the loss of my daughter, I learned that the stress caused by the loss of a marriage is equal to the stress caused by the loss of a loved one and is exponentially doubled for each child involved. So, I know that you are under a terrible amount of stress and you cannot handle all of this new stress and these new symptoms by yourself. Do not be afraid to ask for help from your doctors!
    I will keep you in my prayers and hope that you are able to get some relief and some help!
    Peace and Blessings
    Saysusie
    Look For The Good and Praise It!

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    Shellygirl,

    I'm so glad you're rejoining the board! Many gentle hugs for you at this stressful time...

    I'll echo everything Saysusie said - she is so wise!

    If you are part of a faith community, maybe you can talk to your minister or someone else appropriate there about the stress and coping with it. Or if you are working, see if there is an EAP (employee assistance program) they are free to the individual and staffed with wonderful people who can help you work through the stress.

    May the difficult times pass quickly, dear, and may the pain subside - know that we're here caring for you as well.

    gentle hugs ~

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    Hi Shelly,

    There a few ways to handle situations that cause stress, divert it, shelf it or we have to deal with it.

    For minor things, I divert it with busy things. Read, clean, draw, write, help another...focus on one thing.

    Things I have no control over..shelf it.

    Larger than life things...deal with. Look at objectively. Weigh my options, make a plan and stick to it. The results will leave me feeling better.

    How and what do I actually do. I weigh the pros and cons of the situation. Ask how important am I and how it will affect me, my life and how my decision will affect another. Make a plan to change and do it. Be mindful as the change is taking place, whether it is my body, heart or mind.

    Being a Chrisitan and I do enjoy Buddhism also, the philsophy. Impermanence. Change is constant so treat all things with compassion, even ourselves. When we fall prey to "bad" things..lose our way I like to recall these words...

    What is born will die,
    What has been gathered will be dispersed,
    What has been accumulated will be exhausted,
    What has been built up will collapse,
    And what has been high will be brought low.

    The only thing we have is nowness, is now. Your nowness, you and your children, this very second...

    Breathe, deep breaths in through the mouth and slowly exhale through your nose. Calm yourself. Thing of good things, a beach with the waves, a garden with the smells of gardenias, skiing on a sunny slope...let your mind to take you to a peaceful place when all seems so overwhelming.

    You would be surprised how chanting a mantra and humming in a deep vibrating short hums calms the mind. Such as OM AH HUM VAJRA GURU PADMA SIDDHI HUM or OM AH HUNG BENZA GURU PEMA SIDDHI HUNG. Say it with a deep low humming over and over.

    When you are ready take on that feeling of the divorce...turn it into self power. Seems hard, it is...but it will come. We fall, get depressed, have self loathe, feel anger...but with each fall in empowers us a bit more to move onto the next item we have to tend to.

    This is your life, it was a gift to you and don't let anyone take it from you and make it theirs, especially the man who you are now divorced from.

    Deflate the stress and I hope today you are closer to finding your way,
    Oluwa

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    Well Said and Beautifully said Oluwa

    Saysusie
    Look For The Good and Praise It!

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    Thank you Saysusie,

    Sometimes I forget my life is a gift and forget to treat myself with compassion and those thoughts, words remind me when I have gotten lost.

    Hope you are doing well today,
    Oluwa

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    Default What a great post!

    Oluwa
    I normally lurk a bit, haven't posted in awhile but that post about visualization and being in the now was just so moving. THANK YOU!! I always want to try to think that way but you just made is so much easier to try. Well said and well done!
    Karen

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    Karen,

    You are welcome. Mentally imaging and a quiet spot... I learned it from my Mum who used it through her journey through terminal cancer.

    Feeling good is what hope for you today,
    Oluwa

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    Default Thank You All For Your Help And Replys

    I forgot that I do have another family here waiting for me, to not only share my joyous times, as well as my hard times. I have found the hives have calmed dosn so muc when my children spent time with their father, but came back when they got home. I don't want them to think it is them because it is not! I need to find my power like has been said but is easier said than done. My childen went to his girlfriend and her kids the first time and had a great time. That is what I want. However a schedule was set that my children wanted and I enforced that with their father for them. But with the fun time they had and a missunderstanding of the days changing for them to go up there every other weekend is not what they want. I have such a problem of not knowing what to say at the time it needs to be said (Brain Fog) And I I allow his demeaning and disrespect to render me hurt and powerless. I need to find strength, a new me, someone in control and strong, but lately I am sadly finding myself not wanting to do this anymore and that scares me. I love my children and don't know how do this, make decisions, the right way without putting them in the middle. They need to come first but I am losing myself. I am so open for some help and advice. Michelle

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    Yep, Michelle..Easier said than done..but practice, practice and the benefits you will reap. And I bet the hives will disappear too.

    Your children are the link to your husband, which indirectly your husband, the thought of him when they are on their way home... maybe triggering the hives.

    Have you sought counseling to guide you, to use as a sound board? Primary Physician to test for possible clinic depression?

    Maybe write your thoughts down, what you really want to say to him and read them outloud, in front of the mirror, over and louder till you feel the power...Ooooh I got the Power...wasn't that a song. I can hear the beat in my head. Then the next time you see him, they will flow with confidence...

    This is where the practice, practice comes in. We can wish, hope and etc. You got the tools, mind, heart...you have the seeds..ideas, techniques, now make those strong towering Sunflowers, you.. grow.

    Don't give anyone your power anymore. That is giving your spirit away to someone who could careless. Now stop it. Sometimes we treat strangers and friends better than we do ourselves. Be your own friend...and handle with yourself with care.

    Hugs,
    Oluwa

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